Somewhere Between Pain and Sweetness
by notgonnatellu
Summary: Soulmate au where your soulmate's first words to you are tattooed to your back / Marinette Dupain-Cheng is fifteen when she finds out what being in love feels like, but Adrien Agreste is not her soulmate. Chat Noir falls hard for his partner, but Ladybug is not his soulmate.


I've noticed that people either love soulmate aus to death or hate them with a burning passion. Personally, I absolutely adore soulmate fics and I really wanted to write one! So here we are.

 **!** : for the sake of the story, Jackady happened a bit differently... you'll see...

* * *

 _i._

In a world where approximately only 30% of the people are lucky enough to get a soulmate, finding out that your newborn baby has a soulmark on their back never fails to bring a joyful smile to the parents' faces.

Black ink equals a blessed child. Black ink represents the child's other half, their partner in crime, a shared heart. The universe itself has made the match, chosen someone it knows is worthy of the child's love. How fortunate the parents are to know that their baby will have a special someone waiting for them, someone who will take care of them and never willingly leave them. Soulmates are two people born from the same star, a soulmate is someone who will love you because you are you.

Those who are marked are practically born half in love with their soulmate, that is what the specialists say. This gift is something the marked should treasure. It is a miracle full of love.

That is, of course, if they ever get to meet their other half.

Sometimes, not everything goes as the fate has planned. Sometimes, the world knows how to be cruel. When the person who is marked realizes that their match lives on the other side of the planet, things can get complicated. Sad but true, it is not uncommon that the soulmates never meet.

It is just how life works. People fall ill, people have financial problems, some just prefer to be alone and single. But time and time again, the biggest reason seems to be because the soulmates have already fallen in love with someone else, someone who is not their destined life partner. Another sad fact is that people get scared, very easily. The obstacles might seem too big. It isn't rare to feel like you won't be good enough for your soulmate or that your soulmate will be a disappointment to you. It's normal, it happens.

However, those people are still considered cursed. They live their lives knowing that they will never be whole even though half of their heart is literally somewhere out there waiting. Words written in black ink represent both security and uncertainty. If you don't go after your happiness you'll have to suffer the consequences. What a wasted opportunity.

And that is what the mark essentially is. A possibility. A chance to feel a remarkable connection with someone, a connection that only a handful of others get to experience. Still, after everything, it has been proven that those who are marked can live a happy, fulfilling life even without their soulmate – alone or with someone else. Not even the cursed are _doomed_.

 _ii._

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is born with black words tattooed to her back.

Her soulmate's first words to her are written in elegant letters; calligraphy makes her freckled skin look even prettier, the 4-year-old thinks. Over and over, she traces the four black words with a finger, smiling to herself. She can't read the words yet, but they're still intriguing.

 _It's French_ , her parents tell her, both excited and relieved. _You're very lucky, darling._ It is much more likely that their daughter will meet her soulmate if they both speak the same language and live in the same country.

Marinette doesn't think or worry about her mark too much. She couldn't care less about soulmates, just thinks that the words look beautiful on her, knows that the tattoo makes her special. She is different from the other kids in the kindergarten, not only because of her looks, but also because she's the only one who is marked. The joy she feels when jealousy takes over Chloé Bourgeois' expression is indescribably fantastic.

Her parents, on the other hand, could not be happier for her. Sabine Cheng and Tom Dupain belong to the 70% who don't have a mark on their back, so naturally they're excited beyond words. They fuss about it so much that Marinette has learned to close her ears the moment one of them says the word 'soulmate'.

Tom and Sabine tone down their excitement when their 5-year-old finally tells them that she doesn't want or need a soulmate. A few surprised blinks later they smile at her, nod and agree. Instead of focusing on her soulmate they ask her to _dream_.

-/-/-

Marinette's head swims in fairytales and beauty. She flies, walks amongst the stars and never falls into darkness.

She learns to use her wild imagination, learns to fill her head with dreams just like her parents hoped she would. In order to feed her mind, she spends hours and hours in front of the tv playing video games or watching cartoons and drawing pink kittens who fly around a kingdom made of pink croissants. Raindrops turn into roses in her tiny hands, storms either calm down or get even more powerful. When Marinette stumbles across a new idea, for the next three and a half days it is the most earth shattering idea the world has ever known.

Marinette holds tightly onto her dreams and hopes she has for the future, even if they do change every day. A painter yesterday, a superhero today, whatever the hell she wants tomorrow.

What better time to dream than now, what better place to dream than on her own little balcony, in Paris? The secret garden she has created there speaks her name in a soft and tender voice, welcoming her with open arms.

Marinette kisses her flowers gently. The plants not only look like velvet, they also feel like it. Marinette doesn't have to dream about being a gardener because she already is one, at the age of nine. She's got this.

Marinette dreams when she's asleep and she dreams while she's awake. The sky is never too far away.

But none of her dreams ever involve a soulmate.

-/-/-

The bakery is always filled with laughter, their house quickly turning into a pink paradise. Little Marinette refuses to wear clothes that aren't pink and her Pokémon figure collection only consists of pink characters. No one close to her would be surprised if the blood in her veins also turned out to be pink.

"It is a strong colour", Marinette tries to explain as she shoves an entire cupcake into her mouth, leaving a fair amount of frosting on the corner of her lips. "Vibrant and beautiful."

"Just like you then." Her parents nod. "You're determined, full of fire and –"

There is a loud and sudden noise. Glass shatters.

"No", mumbles the girl darkly after dropping her glass of milk for the third time that day. "I'm just clumsy."

Her parents wrap their arms around her at the same time and hug her so tightly she feels like she's going to explode. In order to breathe properly, Marinette pushes them away, watching as they laugh at her frown. They tell her with warm eyes that she's the apple of their eye, they tell her that they cherish her clumsiness above all.

"You're lying and lying is not nice", the girl scolds but can't help her grin.

For being wonderfully clumsy, Marinette earns two loving cheek kisses from her parents. Laughter turns into giggles.

-/-/-

Her soulmate tattoo isn't exactly something Marinette wants to willingly show off to others. At first glance the mark might seem pretty, yes, but she has never been proud of what it says. The sentence that those four cursed words form... it's definitely less flattering.

Ever since she learnt to read and write, she has tried to hide her mark; from her friends, from her relatives, from everyone really. She makes sure that the clothes she wears are big enough to hide her mark and if she has to go swimming, she uses huge plasters that cover the words. Chloé sometimes harasses her and tries to rip the plasters off. She has never succeeded.

So far, Marinette's parents are the only ones that have ever seen the tattoo. They are sure that their daughter and her future soulmate will be able to quickly sort out whatever disagreement forms between them. Marinette herself is not so sure. Judging by her soulmate's first words, it's not going to be pretty. It seems like she's going to give them a really bad first impression. It's tough to already know that she's going to mess up so badly.

Meeting new people her age is always terrifying. Any one of them might be her soulmate and then she would be chained to that person for the rest of her life. Marinette doesn't want to belong to anyone. She almost wishes that her soulmate lived in Vietnam or Pakistan or just somewhere far, far away so that she would never have to meet them.

 _Almost._

The young girl studies her parents as they bake together. Tom and Sabine are not each other's soulmates, neither of them is even marked and yet they are still living a completely happy life. Marinette has never met anyone as positive or bright as her parents and thanks to them, she knows for sure that she doesn't need a soulmate to feel content or satisfied, no matter what the French media says. Her 'other half' either shows up at some point or doesn't and it works out or it doesn't. Marinette will fall in love with someone, doesn't matter if the person is her soulmate or not. The only thing that really matters is that her heart makes the choice.

Or maybe she will never fall in love with anyone. She'd be totally okay with that, too.

-/-/-

The cloud-covered sky hides the moon at night. A sudden wave of loneliness washes over Marinette as she tries to see through the fog of grey. She squints her eyes, presses her face against the window, but it's no use. She has been separated from her protector.

Chloé was unusually mean today, and Marinette is angry at herself because by now she should be used to the little queen's tantrums. But even though she knows that the cruel words, which come out of that girls mouth, are empty, empty in the same way the words on her back are, they still manage to make her ache. Way too often meaningless words threaten to bring tears to her eyes.

All of a sudden, it almost feels like her mark is crying, too. Marinette bites her lip.

Except they aren't meaningless, words _do_ mean something. They mean a lot, everything to some. Silly, right? After all, words are just a bunch of sounds created by humans. With those insignificant sounds, Chloé has ruined her school life. She has made sure that everyone at school is too scared to hang out with Marinette in case Chloé targets them, too.

No matter how indifferent Marinette tries to act, nights like this still sometimes happen. Usually she's able to lean on her positive and optimistic side. She reminds herself that even though she might be lonely among her peers, she still has her parents who love her unconditionally and support everything she does.

But when night falls, black like her soulmark, the loneliness feels almost unbearable. That is when she looks up through the skylight and sees the moon. It's always there above her, fighting the loneliness alongside her. The moon is always by her side and she loves the irreplaceable celestial body for that.

Maybe she feels this strange connection because they really are the same. Maybe the moon is also lonely, waiting years and years for the opportunity to meet the sun, waiting for the final eclipse. Maybe they both still shine in the darkness.

But tonight the moon is gone and her loneliness cannot be cured.

-/-/-

It is Marinette's 10th birthday. It is also the first time she meets her mum's family members who fly all the way from Hong Kong to France to meet them. Sabine Cheng doesn't have any siblings but lots of aunts, uncles and cousins apparently.

And they all speak Chinese.

Guess who doesn't? Yep, that's right. Marinette freaking Dupain- _Cheng_ doesn't.

Panicking, the girl paces around the house, nearly making her parents mad. She stops for a moment to focus on pulling at her pigtails. Then she turns to her mum.

"I'm going to mess this up!" she exclaims, eyes wide with absolute horror. "Mum, what should I do? I'm going to _die._ "

Trying to hide her amused grin, Sabine kisses the top of her daughter's head. "Don't worry, you'll be fine."

Muttering, Marinette turns her gaze. "You won't be saying that once I drop dead..."

" _Marinette_."

"Sorry..."

Her mum shakes her head disapprovingly before heading back to the bakery. It's going to be a busy day, but all Marinette can think about is the inevitable _doom_. She wants to get to know the other side of her history. She desperately wants to make a good first impression.

(She swears she can hear how the words on her back laugh at her, mocking.)

Marinette is actually the first one in her family to ever receive a soulmate. Her French relatives are extremely thrilled for her for some crazy reason she cannot fathom. They are constantly asking her about her mark, about soulmates, about _love_ , but usually Marinette is too busy collecting pink things to answer all of their stupid questions.

Her dad's brother is the worst, though. He just won't leave her alone.

Sipping her hot chocolate silently, Marinette watches as her mum speaks to the guests. Sabine isn't fluent in Chinese either but she manages. From what Marinette has seen, her mum's relatives are polite but don't seem too interested in her or her soulmark. Or maybe it's just because they know she can't really communicate with them.

 _Should I try to speak with my hands? Would that help?_ she wonders for a second. _No, horrible idea. I would only make a fool out of myself._

A deep sigh leaves her lips when she notices her uncle approaching her. Unsurprisingly, he wants to ask her about her soulmate. _Again_.

Marinette can't help but kind of like him because he looks so much like her dad. His eyes are gentle and he smiles a lot, but unfortunately, he never shuts his mouth. He just talks, talks, talks.

"Have you met him yet? I mean, them."

She shakes her head.

"Oh, that's too bad. But it's pretty cool, isn't it? To have a soulmate who's waiting for you?"

A slow nod.

"Can't wait to meet him. Them. Have you already decided where you'll hold your wedding?"

That is probably the question that shocks Marinette the most. Her uncle's playful smile falters, too, when he notices her scared eyes.

She just turned ten, for goodness sake! She doesn't want to get married! Not now, not any time soon, probably never if it only means there will be more questions.

"You'll change your mind one day", her dad says as he tucks her in that night. "You're young, it's normal that you're not interested in romantic love yet."

Marinette pouts. Someone should tell that to her relatives, maybe they'd finally leave her alone.

Her dad kisses her forehead and the pout is quickly replaced by quiet giggles.

A few months later they're invited to Sabine's cousin's wedding and, using all of their savings, they travel to China. Marinette and Tom also come along, obviously, but throughout the night they receive many stares, too many stares because it makes Marinette feel kind of rejected. The people here look more like her than the people back at home, but her mum's family still knows she's an outsider.

The familiar loneliness knocks on her heart, always present. Marinette is afraid her loneliness is turning into fear and she _fears_ that she has became so familiar with loneliness that that's why being amongst company now feels so awkward and uncomfortable.

 _Well..._ she reminds herself to stay positive. _At least the food is excellent._

Her dad manages to make the night a lot brighter when he leads his daughter to the dance floor and spins her around as many times as she lets him. Sabine joins them a moment later. Laughter truly heals hearts.

They are a _family_. It's all of them or none of them.

-/-/-

She doesn't know when, how or _why_ it started. For as long as Marinette can remember, Chloé has been a conceited rich brat who makes herself feel better by bullying others. For as long as she can remember, she's also been able to keep her cool and brush off Chloé's insults quite easily.

Recently, the comments have begun to affect her, every time, slowly but surely. The words cut, bruise and burn her chest. They make her so damn tired. She can almost feel her self-esteem slowly sinking into a bottomless pit. Before Marinette even realizes it, _she_ is the one who feels like they need to apologize.

 _Apologize for what?_ her injured heart asks. Why does she feel shame about loneliness? Marinette has no idea, but she's unable to help the guilt that has slipped inside her.

But that is exactly what bullying does to you, isn't it? It sucks your energy dry until you have no more fight left in you. It makes you question your every step and every move. Soon you realize that you're so pathetically insecure it is beyond ridiculous. Before long, you, too, start believing what the bully says. Marinette hopes it never comes to that. She'd rather die than agree with Chloé.

The promise on her skin is written in black. The mark is dark, ominous. Threatening like Chloé's words.

Marinette has never been a fan of that colour.

-/-/-

One day in the 7th grade, Rose comes to her after class and asks her if she's excited. Confusion crosses Marinette's features, her brows knit together.

"Excited?" she repeats as she raises her gaze from her notebook.

"Yes!" Rose nods her head, enthusiastic. "Excited to meet your soulmate! I've always wanted to ask you about that."

 _Right_ , Marinette thinks, lips a thin line. _Of course it's about my mark._

Tired of talking about her unknown soulmate, she merely shrugs and starts packing her things.

The temperature seems to plummet a little. Marinette knows that wasn't the answer Rose wanted or expected, but it's really hard to get excited about a nameless, faceless 'soulmate'.

"Oh", Rose says, clearly trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. "I just think that it would be so romantic not to know when the love of your life will walk into your life. It could happen at any moment!"

A soft smile works its way across Marinette's face. They might be different, but she likes Rose and has always considered her as a friend. Her smile falters though, when she notices how the girl takes a quick glance at Juleka.

It is not at all uncommon that they get new students in the middle of the school year, they live in Paris after all, it happens all the time. Juleka is special, though. Now Marinette is no longer the only marked miracle in the classroom.

At first Marinette was extremely happy about it, somehow she felt less alone. But then she actually saw Juleka's tattoo. The words are just so _nice_ and so _normal_ it makes her want to cry.

 _"_ _Hi, I just wanted to say that I love your hair."_

Why can't hers also be something like that, something that doesn't make her feel like a complete fool? As far as Marinette is concerned, Juleka is lucky, and she's still the only one in the room who is cursed.

Rose lets out a sad sigh, stopping Marinette's depressing train of thought. She looks at her classmate's unhappy expression and suddenly has the most ridiculous urge to shake her a little.

It is clear that Rose likes Juleka and to be honest, it's obvious that Juleka likes her back. The only thing standing between them is Juleka's mark, her damn soulmate that has not even showed up yet. If anything is messed up or unfair _that_ is, Marinette thinks.

-/-/-

"Your soulmate must certainly be as ugly as a rat. Can you do me a favour? When you find them, make sure that I will never have to see their face. One rat in this classroom is enough."

Normally, Marinette wouldn't care what someone has to say about her soulmate, but since it was _Chloé_ who made the remark, she suddenly does care. Marinette bites her lower lip almost hard enough to draw blood as she considers how she should reply.

Marinette wants nothing more than to just tell Chloé to shut up, tell her to mind her own business, to look in the mirror. She wants to say something sassy and smart, something that will make Chloé blush – not because of anger but because of embarrassment. When Chloé gets embarrassed her skin turns red and her eyes water a little bit and right now, there's nothing Marinette would like to see more. She _wants_ to be cruel.

But as always, she's too scared to open her mouth. Victory flashes in Chloé's eyes when Marinette turns her gaze. Defeated.

Oh well, she thinks as she sighs and closes her eyes. She isn't good with words anyway.

Chloé leaves the room, her laugh high-pitched and so indescribably annoying it would make a donkey jealous. And that grin... Oh how Marinette hates that arrogant grin.

Unconsciously, her hands ball into fists, her knuckles turning white. She wonders how pretty her fist would look like if it touched the blonde's face. Now _that_ is something Marinette would love to see.

Breathing slowly, gently, deeply helps her to calm down. Chloé is not worth it. Still, the word 'coward' echoes in her mind, making fun of her. A defenseless, small _bug_ that just waits around to be squashed.

The classroom is empty. She's alone.

This is not the first time Marinette wishes she had a friend, a real, close friend. Sure, she is kind of close with Rose and Juleka and has known Nino since forever, but they aren't friends outside of school. Everyone seems to have their own group or at least a best friend or two, but she's just... always alone.

If only her soulmate was here...

Marinette shakes her head vigorously, getting rid of the thought. With a stubborn pout, she gets up and heads out.

No one likes being left out, but she would rather suffer Chloé's bites for all eternity than accept help and comfort from her faceless soulmate.

Fuck her soulmate.

-/-/-

Chloé definitely doesn't make it easy. She won't stop, she just won't _stop_ , no matter how Marinette pleads or begs. It's starting to really wear on her.

"You will probably never meet your soulmate because they live in China."

 _Leave me alone, please, just leave me alone for once_ , Marinette's mind screams. For some reason the words can't find their way out of her mouth. They swell to the brink of her lips, thicken her tongue too much to speak. She can only pray that the teacher comes soon.

Chloé turns to face the others in the classroom. "Did you know that Marinette's mark is in Chinese?" the girl asks, snickering. "That's why she keeps it a secret. She's ashamed of it."

"I'm not", Marinette's defends, but her voice small.

That was a big lie. She _is_ ashamed of her mark but not for the reason Chloé thinks. She would never be ashamed of her soulmate being something else than French.

Chloé pretends she didn't even hear her. "I've seen her mark once, in preschool. It says 'ching chong bong wong'."

And then she laughs her ugly laugh, pleased like she had just told the joke of the century. Sabrina joins her and some of the boys snort. Marinette has a sudden urge to tear her ears off.

"The words are in French, actually", she manages through gritted teeth as she closes her eyes. At this point, she's just mostly sad, tired.

Shoulders slumping, Marinette can't help but resent her soulmate a little. Without them, maybe Chloé wouldn't bully her this much. Without those stupid words on her back maybe people would actually find _her_ interesting, not just her mark.

"You wouldn't know the difference", Chloé replies, all proud for some reason. "You can't speak a word in Chinese, can you? Don't you think you're a disgrace to your mother's family? You're fake, Dupain-Cheng."

Marinette wants to yell. She wants to scream until her lungs feel raw. But again, the sounds get stuck in her throat because Chloé's right. It's true, she can't speak Chinese. The only words she knows are 'hello' and 'thank you'. She's biracial and proud of it, but she's still compelety French.

"Maybe you should just go back to China. It would be better for all of..." Chloé scrunches her nose up when the door opens. Thank god the teacher cuts off the racist speech.

As everyone rushes back to their seats, Marinette lets out a shaky breath. How can it be that even when she is surrounded by people she still feels completely alone? Has her soulmate ever felt this kind of loneliness? Has her soulmate ever felt suffocated, silenced? Life could offer you so much, but loneliness always finds a way to ruin it.

-/-/-

After noticing their daughter's growing interest in fashion, Tom and Sabine decide to get her a sewing machine for her 13th birthday. Marinette is especially inspired by Gabriel Agreste's work, she has even decorated her room with tens of pictures of his designs.

And so she learns to knit, learns to sew. The hurring of the sewing machine makes her feel relaxed. Her heartbeat is strong and steady when it's just her and the fabric. It feels good to be able to create something with your own hands. All she needs is a needle and thread.

Wrapping her favourite pink blanket around herself, Marinette looks up through the skylight while trying to knit her first scarf. The moon smiles at her, soothingly.

When the stars come out, she can't help but think about her... 'other half' as they say. The more she thinks about the whole soulmate thing the less she likes the fact that she's already tied to someone she doesn't even know. The two of them will be bound at first sentence, but the words close to the back of her neck don't promise her anything good.

Marinette learned to dream big. But even though there are millions and millions of stars in the universe, none of them have to be hers.

Special, special, unique, unique, blah blah blah. The marked, Marinette sometimes thinks, are doomed. All of them, not just the ones who never meet their match. Their whole lives are supposed to revolve around finding their soulmate, finding someone who will complete you while others get to actually live their lives. It doesn't help either that the media is obsessed with the tattoos. Romantic love is overrated, Marinette knows that, and if there's one thing she doesn't need, it's a soulmate.

Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, the soulmate experts say. Marinette agrees. She just doesn't believe that her happiness has anything to do with a person she's never even met.

If she has to meet her soulmate, she hopes it won't happen anytime soon. She needs to find herself first.

 _iii._

Adrien Agreste is born with a soulmate mark resting close to his left shoulder-blade.

His parents are not surprised. Mr and Mrs Agreste are each other's soulmates so it is only natural that their child has a special someone, too. The young couple is relieved to also find that Adrien's words are in French. He will find them, Adrien will be fine. In the meantime, they'll keep him safe.

The baby attempts a toothless smile when his father holds him gently, trying to rock him to sleep. The brand new parents sigh at the same time, enchanted.

Gabriel Agreste's adoring smile turns quickly into a frown. "Well", he starts then, mumbling, "hopefully Adrien's soulmate doesn't show up _too_ soon."

His wife hums softly in response.

-/-/-

The word that describes Adrien the best is probably beautiful. Or sweet. He's a cheerful autumn child who has spring in his green eyes, sunlight stuck in his hair and happiness echoing in his laughter. A lovely little boy, everyone who meets him says. Maybe a bit shy around new people but the polite smile he wears never fades from his lips, not even for a second.

So, for a three-year-old Adrien is basically an angel. A sweetheart who never says an unkind word about a soul. Adrien gets sad sometimes, he cries, just like any other child in the world, but he rarely gets angry. Most parents are embarrassed by their children when they throw tantrums in public places, but not the Agrestes. Their son sits in his stroller quietly and obediently with a smile on his face, entertained by the large amount of people he sees as his parents do their shopping. They couldn't be more proud.

"We did good", Mrs Agreste tells her husband one night after she has tucked Adrien into his bed.

Slowly, the man looks up from his book and raises an eyebrow at her. She raises both of hers, one side of her mouth quirking up. They stare at each other for a moment until Gabriel Agreste chuckles, agreeing.

It is clear to them that their son's heart is just as golden as his hair. Adrien's soul has been painted by stardust and he shares that gleam with everyone he meets. He makes sure the hope of the stars lives inside every person.

 _My little stargazer, my bright little moon_ , his mother coos as the three of them observe constellations in the night sky. She buries Adrien's face in soft cheek kisses, and the boy giggles. She already knows that Adrien is going to make his soulmate very, very happy one day.

Gabriel Agreste tells his wife firmly that he expects Adrien's soulmate to be just as special as Adrien is. His son will not settle for anything less.

Mother and son share a knowing look before grinning. Adrien likes to think that besides the perfect, prince-like smile he has also mastered the mischievous smirk.

His parents tell him hundreds of stories about fate and eternal love and soulmates. Adrien listens carefully. The enthusiasm in his parents' eyes makes him excited, too. It must be amazing to have a soulmate, a _real_ best friend. All Adrien has is, well, Chloé and even though she can be nice sometimes, he wouldn't really call her his favourite person.

"What does my mark say?" Adrien asks when he's four, unable to control his curiosity.

And so his mother tells him. It is a surprisingly long sentence; nine words and playful. Adrien's whole world seems to burst into colour. He feels like a hero.

His mother taps him gently on the nose. "I'm sure you'll meet them very soon."

Adrien beams. Now, all he has to do is wait. Maybe they'll see each other tomorrow and he'll get to show them his huge Pokémon figure collection. He really hopes his soulmate likes Pokémon.

-/-/-

Adrien watches, always fascinated, as his mother adds a little more make up and fixes her hair before going on stage. She's wearing a flower crown to today's show. She puts flowers in his hair, too, so that they match. Then she tells him he's pretty, tells him that he's glowing like a dream, tells him how much she loves him. These are Adrien's favourite kind of moments.

His father enters the dressing room to check that everything is ready. He doesn't tell her that she looks gorgeous in the green dress or that the colour brings out her eyes, but Adrien knows that she can see the compliment shining in his eyes. A bit nervously, Gabriel Agreste looks at his watch and then over his glasses at Adrien.

"How is my little model?" he asks.

Adrien answers him with a wide smile. Two of the boy's front teeth are missing but his beautiful, sparkling green eyes make up for the flaws. Gabriel Agreste almost scoffs at his thoughts. As if his wife could give birth to a child that was anything but perfect.

He pats his son's head slowly. He tries his best to keep the boy's messy hair in check but the task is harder than one might think. He decides it's time for a haircut.

-/-/-

Adrien is so intensely obedient of his parents that Chloé sometimes suspects he's a robot. The little girl wrinkles up her nose in disgust whenever he eats his vegetables without complaining or when he doesn't refuse to take his medicine like other normal kids do. Adrien knows that she thinks he's a bit different, a bit weird, but since she puts up with him almost every week, he knows he can't be _that_ bad.

Chloé's parents are rich, just like his are. They both have blond hair and their mothers are models, but... what else do they have in common? She often tells him that he's too soft and laughs at him when his eyes well up with tears. He wants to tell her that there are times when her words really hurt him, that she's too mean, but that would be rude so he doesn't. He wants to watch Cardcaptor Sakura, but she would rather just play with dolls that look exactly like her. When he suggests that they play videogames she tells him that all of his games are stupid. Adrien has never been good at saying 'no', so they always end up doing whatever Chloé wants. He feels like she doesn't really listen to him, doesn't really see him. More often than not he feels lonely around her.

Today, Chloé has been mostly lost in her own thoughts. The day has been exceptionally quiet. It gives Adrien a change to make sure he has not lost any of his Pokémon figures.

"Pikachu, Charmander, Charizard, Squirtle..."

"Don't you ever say no to them?" Chloé finally asks as she hops onto his bed like she owns it.

Adrien frowns a little but doesn't stop counting. "Butterfree, Raichu, Clefairy..."

"Do you always do everything they ask you to?"

"Vulpix, Jigglypuff, Psyduck..."

"Why don't you ever come to my place? I've got a lot of toys, too, and daddy has a huge garden outside where we could play whenever we want. You should come, it will be fun."

Oh, how he wishes he could, but...

" _Adrien_."

The boy stops at Ponyta and turns to his friend, sighing. "I don't know, Chloé..." he mumbles. "My father says that I have everything my heart could ever wish for right here, in this house, and I –"

"That's _bullshit_ ", Chloé spits out, trying to sound as tough as possible, but because of her high-pitched voice everything that comes out of her mouth just sounds annoying.

Eyes widening, Adrien gasps loudly at her word choice.

"What?" The girl snorts at his terrified expression. "It's a word I've heard daddy's competitors and opponents use every time he gives a speech. My daddy always beats them in the end though, so their opinion doesn't really even matter."

A lonely little ladybug that has somehow sneaked into Adrien's room catches Chloé's attention. She quickly squashes it.

"Oh, Adrien, you still have so much to learn."

-/-/-

"Stop crying, Adrien", his father tells him firmly, scolding while he tries to look as indifferent as possible. There is no room for softness in his voice and his eyes are colder than usual. "Stop it. Now."

The little boy only cries harder, watching his mother talk to the doctors. No one is smiling. His father tells him to look at him, but Adrien can't take his eyes off her tired eyes. The ringing in his ears is almost as painful as the ache in his heart.

Suddenly, his father forces him to turn around and face him. A quiet gasp escapes Adrien's lungs.

"Don't let her see you cry", Gabriel Agreste whispers almost angrily and lightly shakes Adrien's small body. "It's only going to make her feel worse. Do you understand me, Adrien?"

Swallowing his sobs, Adrien nods once.

No one comes to comfort him or hold him in their arms. No one tells him with gentle eyes that it's going to be alright. They would probably be lying, but Adrien doesn't care. He needs reassuring lies right now.

With tears still in his eyes, he turns to look at his father again. Adrien hesitates, too scared to take his hand. It would be a sign of weakness.

There's a hole inside him and when he brings both of his hands to his chest he can almost feel how it gets bigger and bigger. His insides are turning into a black hole. The glowing stardust in him dims.

-/-/-

Adrien receives a surprise invitation to Chloé's birthday party.

He is not allowed to go.

The bubbling excitement inside him dies immediately. "But why not?" he cries when his mother shakes her head. "Chloé is my only friend. Please, let me go."

Gabriel Agreste looks at him disapprovingly, almost like he wants to stitch his mouth shut. Ever since they got back from the hospital, his father's eyes have been icy. It makes Adrien uncomfortable.

"It is for your own good", his father says, voice just as ice-cold as his face.

Frustrated, Adrien turns his gaze. There's a bitter taste in his mouth.

He just _can't_ understand. All he wants is to meet new people, meet other kids his age and make friends. Is that really too much to ask? Besides, what if his soulmate has been invited to the party, too? He absolutely has to go.

Adrien decides to try again. "Please, please, _please_. Chloé will be angry if I don't go, father. This might ruin our friendship forever!"

"You'll both recover."

"Bu-but there's even going to be a big fireworks show!"

Telling them about the fireworks was a mistake, Adrien realizes it the moment the words are out of his mouth. He swallows and watches how his mother pales even more.

"We're only trying to keep you safe", she explains quickly.

For her, Adrien tries his best to understand. But his eyelids are heavy with sadness and he's just tired, so tired. His parents notice this and tell him to go to bed. They tell him that he will understand better toworrow.

Why can't they also notice that loneliness is eating him up inside?

Adrien hugs his Charmander plushie tightly, his heart heavy. The toy is almost as big as he is, and when Adrien closes his eyes he pretends the plushie is actually his soulmate that he found from Chloé's birthday party. Adrien can't wait to meet his soulmate, can't wait to start their happily ever after.

The boy sighs. His soulmate has to wait for him a little bit longer.

-/-/-

"Don't worry, my brave little moon."

His mother smiles brightly at him as she cups his face in her hands. Adrien tries to smile back, tries so hard to be brave, but she just came back from the doctor's office.

"You'll always have the stars."

 _Don't let her see you cry, don't let her see you cry_ , repeats his father's voice in his head as Adrien drops his gaze to the floor. When he lifts his head up again he forces his eyes to shine with happiness and not with tears. Faking a smile is worth it because his mother looks genuinely happy as she playfully pinches his cheeks.

She tells him that he's precious, that he's her treasure.

Once again the little moon has to hide a part of himself. Maybe one day he'll get used to it but right now, it's only exhausting. He'll have the stars, yes, but what about the sun? Instead of laughter, Adrien now constantly hides sorrow under his tongue.

 _Please, don't go yet. Don't leave me._

-/-/-

" _Excuse me, lady, but could you tell me where the restroom is?_ "

When his mother finally tells him what her soulmate mark says, Adrien laughs so hard his stomach hurts. Knowing his father, Adrien is actually surprised he didn't just die of embarrassment right then and there.

The boy runs to his father, golden curls a big mess. With a frown, his father tries to desperately fix his son's wild hair. Eventually he gives up and agrees to give Adrien a piggyback ride.

It has been a while since laughter echoed through the Agreste mansion. For a moment, Mrs Agreste looks better.

Adrien tugs at his father's fancy shirt.

" _I have no idea, but congrats, you've just met your soulmate, handsome._ "

More hysterical giggling. It's his turn to be genuinely happy.

Adrien wishes that he had been there to witness his parents' first meeting. If he closes his eyes he can almost imagine it: his father in a white suit, moving stiffly like a statue amongst the models, and his mother, dressed up in one of those elegant, long dresses his father designs. Unexpectedly, happiness bursts into their lives, the colours of the world change as if by magic.

Adrien prays that the happiness he feels right now will never die away either.

But it does.

After the funeral, Adrien curls into a ball on his bed and just stares through the window into the darkness. It's spring, but his eyes are dull, starless like the sky. Frightened by the looming moon, the boy tightens his grip on his blanket. He's never felt this empty before.

Adrien is only eight, but his mother is no longer by his side. She's gone and he feels like he's out there in the dark, too, with her. Nowhere is safe.

He is trying his best not to let the tears out, his father told him that crying was something only weak people did. But he feels even worse, keeping the grief inside his chest where it can only do more damage, where it can only grow, grow, grow.

Sorrow is trying to creep up his throat, Adrien can feel it, but he forces it back down. His small body is violently shivering and shaking, like a fragile leaf in the wind, and he feels like he's about to shatter into a million pieces. Maybe he's just not as strong as his father wants him to be.

The rain outside is black. Black, just like the promise on his shoulder blade.

Suddenly, a tiny, _tiny_ light awakens in the boy's eyes. He gets up slowly and drops the blanket to the floor. His legs are heavy and exhausted, every step is painful. It seems like there isn't enough air for him in the room, but Adrien tries his best to ignore the ache in his lungs.

He stops when he's finally standing in front of the huge mirror his parents gave him a few months ago, breathing hard for a few seconds. Then he tugs at his pajama shirt and spins around, trying to see his words. It's not as easy as he thought it would be, so he brings his right hand over his shoulder and just touches the mark instead.

He closes his eyes, feels the words. All of a sudden, for the first time since his mother left, Adrien is _excited_. He can touch the words and at the same time it's almost like he can touch _them_ , touch his soulmate. The emptiness inside him is replaced by love, strange kind of love that he has never felt before.

His soulmate is real, somewhere out there waiting for him just like he's waiting for them. He might be lonely right now but it won't last forever, his soulmate has already made that promise. Adrien has not lost his best friend.

A few tears slip past his admittedly horrible guard. In a strange way he finds comfort in the colour. Black is relaxing, eternal.

Adrien sniffs. He's only safe if he stays at home, inside, that's what his father tells him. His father tells him a lot of things and Adrien always believes him because so far he has had no reason to think that he's wrong. Now, a seed of doubt has been planted into his head. Adrien's thoughts are firmly focused on the black words and what they symbolize.

His father is wrong. This house did not keep his mother safe, it can't save anyone. His soulmate isn't here either, they're out there in the real world. Adrien now knows that that's where he belongs, too.

The boy climbs back into his bed. He's ready to cry now.

-/-/-

Adrien spends most of his days daydreaming, desperate to fill the empty hole his mother left. Nathalie scolds him often and he apologizes every time but never actually promises to stop his fantasizing. As long as his grades don't drop his father won't mind.

Adrien's free time is filled with books and movies and tv-shows, the kind of adventures he wants to have with his soulmate one day. Maybe they'll have deep conversations while on a rescue mission. Maybe they'll fly a helicopter with one hand and save the world with the other. Maybe they'll just cuddle daily. The simple thought brings a smile to his lips.

Is his soulmate a boy? A girl? Adrien doesn't really care which one his other half ends up being because he finds boys and girls equally intriguing, but it's still fun to speculate. He has crushes on anime boys and female actresses and is delighted whenever he finds a character that shows interest in more than one gender.

But if there's one thing his fictional crushes have in common, it is their brown eyes. So maybe, _hopefully_ , his soulmate will have warm eyes, too.

Adrien's nights are filled with telescopes and calculations. He asks the stars to tell him stories about his soulmate. The stars twinkle and twinkle, beautifully, and Adrien nods. He believes them.

He has already planned out everything. The moment he meets his soulmate he'll hug them, maybe gently kiss them on the cheek. He'll hold their hand as his heart cries with happiness, he'll smile so brightly his soulmate will forget every single thing that has ever hurt them. Together forever, he will promise. He'll never leave his partner, no matter what, and his heart will grow a little bigger knowing that he won't be alone anymore either.

More than anything Adrien wants to thank them. Thank them for being his guiding light, thank them for giving him hope when he thought there was none. He's sure his soulmate will thank him, too.

Every night, before he falls asleep, Adrien touches his mark gently. "You're so important", he whispers. "I love you so, so much already."

Time truly does move slow when half of your heart has yet to show up. One day he'll be able to tell his soulmate all of his secrets, but for now, the stars will do.

And with a smile on his lips, Adrien falls asleep.

-/-/-

Way too fragile, his father reminds him. Adrien is too fragile. Too sensitive. Too much like his mother. Always lacking something, no matter how perfect he tries to be. Adrien can feel the cracks in his heart get a little bigger. His father treats him like he's made of glass.

Maybe he's right, Adrien starts to think. Maybe he is trapped in a mind and body that are easily breakable. Isolated and friendless, he hates his restricted life. He feels trapped by the big empty halls, trapped by his muffled soul, trapped by his father's orders. His soulmate is somewhere out there, actually feeling the sun on their skin while he rots inside all day. His home has become – or maybe it has always been – his prison.

His father is cold and distant, sometimes almost indifferent. Adrien's mother is gone and most of the time it feels like his father's heart died along with her. Adrien's only got himself and for a twelve-year-old that can be mentally damaging. He's lonely, so lonely. Often, he wants to give up.

When will his soulmate, his brave, brave knight come and rescue him from this hell he's living? When will his angel come and whisk him away from this loneliness, where is his angel who will love him unconditionally?

Adrien looks up at the sky, tries to count the stars. Can they see him, too? The small suns are brilliantly bright this evening, radiating hope, and Adrien wonders whether they would like to help him today. It is worth a shot, he decides.

Closing his eyes he whispers, "Please, tell me where my soulmate is."

But the stars stay quiet. There are no stories tonight.

-/-/-

As years go by and Gabriel Agreste notices his son's extraordinary fascination with soulmates, dark thoughts start to fill his head. What if the only thing that's waiting for Adrien is heartbreak? What if something has already happened to his soulmate? What if, what if, what if. What if Adrien ends up just as unhappy as he did?

Gabriel can't help it, he only sees Adrien's soulmate – whoever they might be – in a bad light. He sees them as bad luck. A threat. Who do they think they are anyway? Do they have any idea how special Adrien is? The only purpose of this faceless person is to take his son away from him. He can't lose Adrien, too.

It doesn't take long before soulmates are a forbidden topic in the Agreste household. Under the watchful eye of Nathalie, Adrien tries to control his curiosity and romantic heart. It's hard, almost too hard to conceal his feelings, but the last thing he wants is to upset his stubborn father. The pain of losing his wife, his soulmate, still weighs him down.

"You will tell me immediately when you meet them", his father commands one day, eyes full of ice when he finds his son completely absorbed in a book about soulmates.

Adrien doesn't answer. He just turns away so that his father can't see his pout. He keeps reading.

"Are we clear, Adrien?" Gabriel's voice gets a little louder.

"Yes, father."

Mr Agreste raises an eyebrow. He isn't completely convinced. He doesn't like the fact that Adrien still spends most of his time buried in soulmate books.

So, he decides to give his son new hobbies to keep him busy, to keep him away from anything that involves soulmates. First it's piano lessons. Then Mandarin. Fencing. Karate. Adrien doesn't get to quit modelling either.

Gabriel Agreste ignores his son's exhausted and bored sighs, only focusing on the fact that his plan is working. He made sure Adrien's mind doesn't have time for soulmates, not even when the body is asleep.

 _iv._

The power of creation.

Marinette becomes Ladybug to prove herself that she's strong, that she can take care of herself and her loved ones, that she's so much more than what others see in her. She becomes tougher, realizes her self-worth. Finally there are bigger and more important things in her life than just her soulmark.

Suddenly, Chloé seems so small. Marinette fights back because words can't hurt her anymore. She has found her armour.

Adrien becomes Chat Noir to finally gain his freedom. He defies his father, goes to school, makes friends and actually lives his life for once. Luck is finally on his side it seems, which is kind of ironic if you think about it. He just prays that it doesn't backfire.

The power of destruction.

 _v._

Adrien Agreste is not her soulmate.

The words _no, no, I was trying to take off the gum_ are definitely not the ones glued to her back. Oh how she wishes they were, though.

For the first time ever, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the school's most famous soulmark hater, desperately wishes she had someone's first words inked on her skin. After Adrien Agreste gave her the umbrella and looked at her with those kind, kind eyes, Marinette knew that she had lost her heart for good. The umbrella he gave her is as black as the rain was that day, as black as her mark.

Marinette fills her room with his pictures, replacing his father's designs and hoping that the new pictures will satisfy her heart at least for a little while. She softly kisses the framed one every morning and wishes the huge poster a good day before heading to school.

A foreign feeling shoots up the back of her spine every time she sees him. Desperation creeps into her mind and it feels like cancer, spreading inside her, making her feel and want things she's never felt or wanted before. Every single one of her dreams becomes more vivid. Her determination grows into a flame within her. Marinette doesn't even mind that he's friends with Chloé.

One day she'll become a fashion designer, it's settled. One day she'll marry Adrien Agreste, that is also decided.

-/-/-

Ladybug is not his soulmate.

For the first time ever, Adrien Agreste, the boy who actually _talks_ to his soulmate tattoo before going to bed, doesn't care about the words on his back. Suddenly, he realizes that his soulmate is already too late.

The adventures he's always dreamt of... he gets to have those with Ladybug. Adrien feels invincible when he's with her. The villains don't stand a chance against them, they're the most miraculous team Paris has ever seen.

The heroine has become his best friend, his partner, everything he could ever have asked for and more. He has finally found his favourite person and he _loves_ her, sometimes maybe too much. That's fine by him, though. It has been a long time since he loved anyone or anything this much. Maybe one day dreams and reality will collide.

If his soulmate is not Ladybug then Adrien wants no one. His feelings for his partner go far beyond anything he has any experience of. What is the point of a soulmate when you already love someone this much?

-/-/-

Marinette knows that she has never really been alone, she has always had her parents. But she has not felt _lonely_ since the day Alya moved to Paris, since the day she met Chat Noir. Marinette couldn't be more grateful for their friendship.

Sadly, having two best friends doesn't automatically mean that her other problems will disappear, too.

In her normal dramatic manner, Marinette face plants against her desk and groans loudly. It's too early, way too early. She's too tired to move, too tired to even think about studying.

Nino turns around, concerned, and asks her if she's alright. Without raising her head, Marinette mumbles something incoherent.

"You... you want _milk_? Huh?"

If she wasn't so damn tired, she would have smiled at the confused tone of his voice. She has known Nino since the first grade and thanks to Alya, they've finally become real friends.

Alya's hand moves to pat her back, close to her covered mark. "Nothing to worry about, Nino. Marinette is just being herself."

"I hate physics", Marinette decides to announce for the millionth time, murmuring against the desk. "My brain can't handle it. I hate chemistry, too, and mathematics and –"

Her best friend's laugh interrupts her whining. "And you're the one who got sorted into Ravenclaw."

"The sorting hat is a liar", she mutters grimly. "Don't believe anything it says. You're not a Gryffindor and Nino is not a Huffle... No, wait, that one it actually got right. Ahh, my head hurts so much... Alya, I don't think I will ever recover."

Her friend laughs again. Marinette closes her eyes.

She absolutely _hates_ Tuesdays. Mondays are horrible, yes, and Wednesdays boring and Thursdays frustrating, but Tuesdays are always absolute _torture_. She swears she's never going to get up from her seat, never going to raise her head from this desk and never, _ever_ going to open her eyes again. She'll stay here until the day she dies and –

"Good morning."

It's almost comical how fast her head shoots up when she hears the kind voice. Her breath hitches in her throat and it's kind of painful actually.

Alya and Nino greet Adrien like normal human beings, but Marinette messes up her words and yells, "Good night!"

Her ears fill with a rushing sound as blood races to her face. Sweet Adrien just lets out a soft chuckle and smiles at her like her words had made perfect sense. It doesn't help her embarrassment. The earth still has her permission to swallow her whole whenever it wants to.

Marinette watches, mesmerized, how Adrien runs a hand through his blond hair that curls in all the right places and _wow_ , she never knew how much one could like someone else's _hair_. She has had crushes before, she should know how this works. You meet a cute guy, your heart goes boom boom, you daydream a little, stalk them a little, only to realize that you're too much of a coward to confess.

And now then there is Adrien. A famous model who is gorgeous beyond words. Kind Adrien, who sometimes seems too good to be true. He has an ethereal glow about him and she's so attracted to that glow it seems to lure her closer and closer, deeper and deeper every time she sees him.

Being around her soulmate, well, _this_ is how it should feel like, Marinette thinks. But apparently she's wrong.

What makes all of this even worse is that she accidentally found out that Adrien is marked, too. She almost wants to cry in frustration. Adrien is _marked_ , he has a soulmate waiting for him and here she is, planning what their wedding would be like. She feels like a naive little child, but at least her uncle would be proud. Marinette now knows exactly what her wedding dress would look like. She has already designed it.

The class starts and Marinette stares at the back of Adrien's head, dreaming. If only she could touch his perfectly soft, perfectly golden cotton hair... If only she could gaze into those divine green eyes all the time...

Suddenly, Marinette notices that she's actually thinking about Chat. Frowning, she wonders why.

-/-/-

Today's akuma laughs its evil laugh, and Chat Noir inhales deeply, filling his lungs with fresh air. This is his favourite part of the day so he just can't help his huge smile.

His partner tells him to hurry up. She turns around briefly and shows him a playful grin, her lovely blue eyes sparkling.

 _Ladybug doesn't have brown eyes_ , Chat suddenly realizes. Somewhat in shock he goes after her, his body a little stiff.

Ladybug doesn't have brown eyes but... but the fact doesn't bother him at all. He has never really cared about blue eyes before but now he wouldn't want them any other colour. Nowadays, he associates blue with magic and freedom and passion because the sky is free and Ladybug's blue matches the Parisian sky perfectly. He doesn't need the sky anymore, he has her eyes.

 _But isn't this just another prison?_ something inside him doubts. Why is he so willing to give up the new sky, his new freedom, for her ocean eyes? He'll just go back to square one. Maybe he is drowning in the thought of her without even realizing it, like a broken boy who is looking for a saviour. Unintentionally, has he made her his drug?

No, he tells himself, shaking his head. He's not a prisoner. Ladybug _is_ his freedom, or at least a big part of it. The colour of her very soul is blue, and it's his choice to lose himself in the depth of her stormy sea. His love is as deep and infinite, too. They match.

Chat stops abruptly. He looks up and although he only sees clouds painted on yellow and orange, he still sees her. A smile inevitably spreads across his lips.

"Chat, what are you doing? It's getting away!"

Or he could just marvel at the real thing.

"I'm sorry, my lady, your beauty just blinded me for a second." A charming wink.

She sighs, rolling those twinkling eyes. The playful grin returns. "Only for a _second_? There must be something wrong with your eyes then. My beauty could stop the whole world."

Oh, he doesn't doubt that.

"Now come on, silly kitty. We really need to catch that akuma before everyone gets turned into dust."

He nods and they head towards the Eiffel Tower. The feeling he gets while soaring over the city is indescribable. Indescribable like the flame in Ladybug's eyes.

Everyone should have blue eyes, Chat decides. That way the world would surely be a better place. That way the sky would finally be jealous of humans, not the other way around.

And when he realizes that his favourite colour has changed from soulmate black to azure, he doesn't even pretend he's surprised.

-/-/-

"Wow, Ladybug, you were phenomenal!"

He always looks so impressed, so amazed. And then there's that smile, that beautiful, beautiful smile that leaves her heart empty sometimes.

There's sweetness in the way he says her name. That's good, she thinks, she likes sweet things. Ladybug just wishes it wasn't so obvious, the way his eyes light up whenever he sees her. She doesn't want to hear the overly romantic pick up lines or the sweet, sweet love poems he has chosen for her. He tries so hard, she does notice that. She's well aware of his feelings even though she wishes she wasn't. He's not her soulmate and he's not Adrien.

But somewhere deep, deep inside her there is a voice that whispers _maybe_. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to love Chat, let him love her in return. If she chose Chat she would probably never regret it. He glows brightly, too, like her precious moon.

Those who are marked can be completely happy in a relationship, it doesn't have to be your soulmate. That is something Ladybug has been telling herself her whole life. But...

As she watches Chat bat his eyelashes a little too eagerly at her, Ladybug can't help but chuckle fondly. She doesn't miss the way his eyes light up again, she never does. And then there's that brilliant smile again, so wonderfully huge it reaches his happy eyes.

She smiles back at him, heart involuntarily fluttering. Who needs a destined partner when you already have one? She and Chat might not have each other's first words tattooed to their backs, but it doesn't seem to lessen their connection at all.

If Ladybug is completely honest, she is actually surprised they're not soulmates. It would have made sense. She might want Adrien, but the bond between Ladybug and Chat Noir is quite special.

Two halves of a whole, Tikki always says. Her mark doesn't seem to agree.

The tiny voice in her chest gets a little louder. It would have been nice if Chat Noir had been her soulmate, it says.

The smile fades from Ladybug's lips.

But he is not.

-/-/-

"Do you enjoy the view tonight, my lady?"

"Of course I do. Paris always looks beautiful."

"And what about the company?"

"I think I prefer the view."

"Agh, you can be so cruel."

"Love you, too, kitty."

They speak little after that, the air between them tense and awkward for the rest of the evening as Ladybug seems to regret her word choice with bright pink cheeks.

-/-/-

Then Nathanaël gets akumatized.

Chat rushes to the Dupain-Cheng bakery just like Ladybug asked him to, all the while grinning because his classmate has no idea who really is underneath the mask and the cat outfit. He waits for Sabrina to leave, which seems to take _forever_ , and then surprises his friend by jumping down from the roof.

A rush of excitement shoots through him the moment he sees her, but he's not sure why. Chat wants to give a good first impression, wants to charm her, and so the first sentence that comes out of his mouth is a pun. Obviously.

Chat never noticed – as Adrien – how easy it is to flirt with Marinette. Somehow it comes almost naturally. And once he starts it's hard to stop.

Smirking, he introduces himself. He winks at her. Kisses her hand. Calls her princess. Almost wants to scoop her up in his arms for no reason. Thank god he doesn't _actually_ do that.

And Marinette looks... well, maybe not as excited as Chat hoped she would, but he's sure she appreciates the attention. After all, not everyone gets to save Paris with Chat Noir.

Marinette pulls her hand away from his lips.

And drops the bomb.

"Yes, I know, you're the one always saving Paris."

In the blink of an eye, Chat's whole life changes. The mark on his back _burns_.

Those are the words he has been waiting to hear his whole life, the words that have the power to make the world around him bloom. So why does he feel like she just threw a bucket of ice-cold water on him?

A feeling of panic grows in him as he stares at the girl in front of her. This... This makes _no sense at all_. What is happening, how is this happening and why is this happening now? They're already friends, he has talked to Marinette plenty of times before!

One eyebrow raised, the girl stares at him for a few heartbeats. Chat's heart seems to skip those heartbeats completely. A few seconds of silence where he isn't even sure his heart beats at all. He waits for her reaction, waits for her to say something.

But all she does is tell him her name and ask him what he's doing at her door. Chat barely hears any of that, his ears are ringing.

Marinette isn't acting like a person who just met the love of her life. She doesn't seem at all awestruck or surprised. She completely ignores the brilliant claw joke he just made. The first words he ever said to her on the first day of school had no effect on her either. It's almost like her mark isn't burning at all, almost like his words mean nothing to her.

For a moment, confusion shines on his face, but he's too scared to ask. He's too scared to ask what she's feeling, what she's thinking because he's afraid of the answer.

Chat pulls himself together. They really don't have time for this, their classmate needs to be saved.

He forces a smug smile on his face, making Marinette – his _soulmate_ – muffle her giggles. He has to pretend the highlight of his life didn't just happen.

Later that night, Adrien sits on his bed and stares at the wall with blank eyes. Plagg's small _mmm_ -noises float from the trashcan and the clock goes _tick tock_ , but other than that it is completely silent. The world inside Adrien's mind is louder than ever.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is his soulmate.

Slowly, he gets up and takes off his t-shirt. He goes to the bathroom, locks the door and stares at the words on his shoulder-blade.

 _"_ _Yes, I know, you're the one always saving Paris."_

He stares and stares and stares. The mark does not change or fade. In fact it seems to be even darker than before. Adrien touches each word slowly, as if he can read something more from them.

He doesn't know what to think. As strange as all of this is, there's no doubt that Marinette is his soulmates. Despite how crazy and busy the situation was, he is sure his ears didn't fool him.

She said the words. She's the one. Simple.

 _Marinette Dupain-Cheng is his soulmate._

Adrien throws his arms up, opens his mouth and inhales sharply, ready to scream. He freezes before anything can come out of his mouth.

Would his cry be a happy one? Or would it be sad, frustrated? He doesn't know so he just breathes heavily instead.

Adrien feels utter confusion, his mind drowning in doubt and questions as he slumps against the bathroom door. He understands nothing.

This definitely isn't how he thought it would happen. After he received his Miraculous the words on his back finally made sense. He knew he would one day meet his soulmate while transformed. This... this was first time he talked to Marinette as Chat Noir, wasn't it? But why would that matter?

The worst part is that Marinette didn't react to his words in any way. She didn't recognize them. Maybe something went wrong, maybe there's something wrong with _him_.

The boy's frown deepens as he tries to understand this mess. Does Marinette even have a soulmark? Or does she have another soulmate waiting for her somewhere? Is she his soulmate, but he's not hers?

The realization hurts like hell. Pursing his lips together, Adrien's mind darkens.

Ladybug is not his soulmate.

-/-/-

Chat's face is illuminated by the street lights, making his golden hair shine even more than usual. Ladybug gets utterly distracted by the way his eyelashes move as he blinks several times, fast. She tries not to stare, she really does, but it's hard, almost impossible.

And then he says it.

"I... I met my soulmate yesterday."

Something changes in the air between them. It's suddenly heavy and kind of uncomfortable, giving Ladybug a headache. A pang of unwelcome jealousy follows. She curses the feeling and –

Wait up.

Did she honestly just say she feels _jealous_? Of Chat's soulmate? No, she isn't jealous. That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it? Why would she envy the mark that has the privilege to dance on Chat's skin, has the power to make him someone else's partner? Chat is just her best friend, her platonic partner in crime. Besides, she likes _Adrien_.

It's hard to read the expression on his face. He doesn't look disappointed nor thrilled, just a little... uncertain, maybe.

"O-oh. Cool", she mumbles and has to take a moment to swallow down the shakiness in her voice. "I, uh, I didn't even know you were marked. But yeah, um, super cool."

She slaps herself mentally. What kind of best friend is she? How hard can it be to say the words _I'm_ , _happy_ , _for_ and _you_?

"But don't worry!" Chat says then, a bit too quickly. He turns to her, smiling her favourite smile. "You're still my number one favourite person."

Hesitantly, Ladybug nods, unable to look at his bright smile, scared that she'll go blind. Her eyes seem to move on their own as she glances down to Chat's lips. The moment the words 'I wonder if his lips are as soft as they look' start to ring in her ears, Ladybug leans away from him. Bad idea, _bad idea_ , abort mission immediately!

To be honest, this isn't the first time she has found herself staring at Chat's lips. His lips are somehow extremely fascinating, especially when he stops talking and just lets them rest in an easy smile. Sometimes, even at night, she wonders if –

Her mind flashes red. It screams, loud, because it _knows_. She shouldn't let her thoughts go any further. They will both only get hurt.

But it's exhausting to lie to yourself, Ladybug has noticed. And it never works anyway.

She waits for her heart to mutter something about making a big mistake, but it never does. Her heart aches strangely, but it's not trying to stop her.

Agonizingly slowly and while biting her lip, Ladybug leans closer to her partner again. He doesn't seem to notice. The thought of touching Chat's clueless lips with her own makes the heroine's chest clench so tight that she almost stops. No, she needs to know what it feels like.

And then she presses their mouths together as gently as she possibly can, her lips barely brushing his. The kiss, if you can even call it that, lasts only a fraction of a second as Ladybug quickly pulls back, regret instantly swelling inside. She forces herself to look at his reaction, ready to take responsibility for her actions.

Chat is white like a ghost. His eyes are widened, hers are too, because Chat definitely isn't the only one who is shocked. The things that start to float in her mind, going back and forth, make a mess of her thoughts. _What is wrong with me, do I **want** to ruin everything?_

The loudest voice comes from her heart, though. _Do it again!_ it encourages, those damned words itching her whole body. _There's still so much more to discover!_

Cursing inwardly, Ladybug admits that she kind of wants to listen to that excited, high-pitched voice. But she can't. Less than five minutes ago Chat told her that he met his soulmate, for goodness sake!

Before she has time to apologize, Chat opens his frozen mouth. "Ladybug..." he says her name like he thinks she's really lost her mind. "What... Why would y–"

His adorable stammering and rapidly twitching cat ears melt her, and in the end Ladybug's heart wins. She cuts him off with another kiss, this time doing it properly, cupping his face and bringing him closer. Yep, his lips are as satisfying to touch as they are to look at.

Chat lets out a small, surprised gasp. The muscles in his arms and shoulders tense immediately. Ladybug breaks the kiss, giving him a chance to pull away. He doesn't move, so she just waits, staring into his eyes, showing him an encouraging but nervous smile.

After a few seconds, the boy hesitantly presses his lips against hers. Ladybug is more than happy to return the kiss as she tenderly caresses his cheeks with her thumbs. A whole new world of galaxies opens up.

Chat is clumsy, she notices, he has no idea what to do with his hands. She's quite sure he has never kissed anyone before. But he is so _gentle_ , his lips so warm, his skin so soft that she automatically forgets she even has a mark on her back, forgets that Chat's words have already found their match.

She forgets that soulmates even exist because if they did, this is what kissing them would feel like.

'A platonic partner in crime'? Please. She's stuck in some hard-core denial.

Chat is the one who pulls away to breathe first. He is already panting hard, flustered, and his slightly swollen lips bring a smile to her face. And if she's honest, her head is spinning slightly, too.

Slowly, like waking up from a very deep slumber, Chat raises his gaze from her lips to her eyes. His cheeks are pink, but she's the one whose cheeks are in _flames_. Chat's eyes are so green and familiar she can't help but sigh happily. Green, green, green surrounds her and even though the leaves on the trees are already turning brown, it still feels like spring is here.

What they did was wrong, she knows that. Even though she has never been the one to care about soulmates, Chat already knows who his soulmate is, and Ladybug knows _him_. He'll choose them, like he should, and she will never blame him for that. She just hates that she knows this feeling between them is only fleeting, it will fade.

One day, he'll be someone else's partner.

Suddenly, a look of panic flashes through Chat's lovestruck expression. His eyes widen again and he stumbles backwards, almost falling off the roof.

"I-I'm so sorry", he stutters quickly, avoiding her eyes. "I didn't mean to... I..."

Ladybug raises an eyebrow at him, confused. "Why are you apologizing?" she asks. "I'm the one who started it..."

Chat looks both ecstatic and baffled at the same time, but something tells her that he's preparing himself for heartbreak. "I... I just told you I found my soulmate", he quietly reminds, sighing. "I'm sorry..."

She would be lying if she said the reminder didn't sting, but the guilty look on her partner's face hurts even more. His fake ears droop and she knows exactly what he's thinking. He feels like he has betrayed her, betrayed his real soulmate, betrayed _himself_.

The silence that falls is horrible, sucking energy from her. She can't stand it.

"No. No, I'm the one who should apologize", she says and means it even if her voice sounds strangely breathless. "What I did was wrong. Besides, I should have asked you first. I'm sorry."

Nervously straightening his back, Chat mumbles something. She barely hears him.

"I'd like to try that again sometime."

Surprise and disbelief cross her features. Mouth slightly open, all she can do is blink at him. Is he serious? Is he really fine with all of this ending in heartache one day?

But then he shows her that lovable goofy grin, and Ladybug realizes that maybe she doesn't really care about that future pain either. If he keeps smiling like that, she's not sure she'll be able to resist touching his lips again. They just have to keep in mind that this is only temporary, that the stars don't agree with their choice.

Taking a deep breath, she nods. Chat's eyes light up instantly and _oh_ , if that isn't the most beautiful sight she has ever laid her eyes upon. She trusts his green with her whole heart and soul.

"Yeah, alright. We'll see." She winks. "It's true that you need a little more practise."

And so they pretend that Chat, with a smile on his face, did not just cheat on his soulmate.

-/-/-

"Plagg, have you ever noticed how beautifully... _white_ my armchair is?"

"Nah."

"And wow, the sunlight practically makes my bedroom walls glimmer, doesn't it?"

"No more than usual."

Giggling, Adrien jumps onto his bed like an excited child. He puts his hands behind his head and smirks. "Did I mention that the love of my life kissed me? Twice, Plagg, she kissed me twice!"

The kwami decides to ignore him. Adrien barely notices his indifference, he's too busy focusing on the hearts that float around his vision. A dreamy sigh escapes his lips.

"Do you think she loves me?"

No answer.

"Yeah, you're right. Now that I know Ladybug is at least attracted to me, I have to work twice as hard in order to make her fall in love with me. I'll be the most charming superhero this world has ever seen." He draws hearts with his finger against the bed sheets, wondering about the things he would tell her if she was laying next to him.

Plagg's head pops up from the trashcan. "What about your soulmate?"

Adrien's hand stops. The guilt comes back.

"I am... I am not Marinette's soulmate. It doesn't matter."

-/-/-

" _What have I done, Tikki?_ "

"It's alright, Marinette, calm down. You only listened to your heart and did what it told you to do."

"No, I didn't! My heart said _nothing_! That kiss was probably ordered by my, I don't even know, left leg or kidneys or something!"

The kwami tries to stifle her giggles but fails, making her chosen groan.

"Stop laughing, please, this is serious."

"Would it be so bad to admit that you might like him?"

Denial was knocking on Marinette's door again. "Bu-but this is _Chat_ we're talking about! He's my best friend."

"He can still be your best friend even if you occasionally brush your lips against his."

" _Tikki_!"

"Marinette, is everything okay?"

The girl slaps both of her hands to her mouth. A few seconds of silence.

"Marinette? Can you hear me?"

She glares at her kwami before replying. Tikki only shrugs.

"Yes, mum, everything's just great."

-/-/-

He finds her after class, surprised that she's hugging her knees, sobbing quietly. The girl's shoulders slump as her head hangs low. He can see how she's shaking.

This isn't the first time he heard Chloé say something mean to her, but this is the first time he has ever seen Marinette actually take the insults to heart. It makes his chest ache to see his friend like this.

His _soulmate_ , Adrien has to remind himself.

But soulmate or not, he wants to help her, wants do something, _anything_ to make her feel better. After some hesitation, Adrien realizes that he has no idea what to do. The years of solitude have affected his social skills in a negative way. How do you even comfort a crying person?

Marinette notices him before he can say anything. He takes a step back when her head suddenly shoots up.

"Adrien!" She turns away for a second to wipe the tears from her face. "Hi! He-hello, uh, wh-what are you doing here?"

"Um, I –"

"What am I saying? This is our school, of course you're here! We're all here to study and suffer– Wait, no, I mean, to study a-and _stuff..._ "

With a heavy sigh, Marinette gives up and closes her mouth. Her shoulders slump again, and Adrien's worry grows. He has never seen her like this before.

Carefully, he kneels down next to her and places a hand on her shoulder. "Is there anything I could do?"

Marinette's body tenses immediately at his touch and Adrien pulls his hand away, afraid he offended her somehow. They're not that close, of course he has no right to touch her all of a sudden.

The girl shakes her head furiously and… Is he just imagining or are her cheeks slightly pink?

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" he asks, concerned, and places the back of his hand against her forehead. It is kind of warm...

Marinette squeaks and jumps to her feet. Adrien curses in his head. Personal space! He doesn't like it either when strangers try to touch him! It's funny though, how easy it was to talk to her as Chat Noir when it's this hard when he's just Adrien.

"Ye-yes, I'm fine!" That's what she says, but her eyes talk about loneliness. "See you tomorrow!"

An invisible light bulb appears above his head right when she turns to leave. "Wait!"

Marinette stops.

Adrien takes a deep breath, shows her his biggest smile and claps his hands together, excited. "You like Jagged Stone, right? How about I try to get us tickets to his next concert? That would be fun, wouldn't it? What do you say?"

 _Please, cheer up..._

Marinette blinks a few times. Eventually, she gives him a slow nod. "Oh, uh, sure. But no need to buy me a ticket, I've already got one."

"You do?"

She laughs awkwardly. "Probably sounds crazy, but Jagged Stone gave me one for free."

 _Because you're that amazing_ , Adrien thinks to himself, smiling. He knows the story, knows how she designed the rock star new classes for his show.

Without warning, Adrien's heart starts to beat a little faster, knowing that soon he's going to see his favourite artist with his new _soulmate_. He tries to ignore the weird butterflies that flutter around in his stomach.

Unfortunately, the beautiful feeling doesn't last very long.

"I'll let Alya and Nino know, I'm sure they're free that night", Marinette says, shattering the excitement in Adrien's chest.

What?

The girl smiles sweetly, but Adrien's mind is swimming in disappointment. Had he mentioned something about bringing the others along? He can't remember.

Adrien swallows quickly and forces himself to nod. "Ye-yeah, okay, great. Just the four of us..."

Marinette turns again.

"Wait." He stops her again, starting to feel like a nuisance.

When she turns around this time there is amusement in her eyes. It reminds him of Ladybug, and only makes the butterflies inside him double.

"About Chloé…" he starts, rubbing the back of his head. "Don't let her words get to you, okay? She's just –"

"– insecure", Marinette finishes for him. "Bullying is often driven by fear or narcissism or the need to control a situation. Picking on others makes her feel better, more powerful. Yeah, I know."

She shows him a weak smile, but he smiles back anyway. All he can think about is how strong Marinette is.

Finally, she waves him goodbye and Adrien is glad that at least the sadness left her eyes. As he watches her head home, he can only hope that loneliness won't follow her either.

A long sigh fills the empty classroom.

-/-/-

Ladybug recognizes it, the loneliness in those green eyes. Chat has barely said a word tonight. For once his big mouth is well rested, but every line of his body still looks tired.

Perhaps he's remembering a lonely childhood? She knows what that is like. Maybe they've both been alone, maybe they have more in common than she first had thought. Chat seems like the class clown who everyone secretly adores, so it's hard to imagine that a boy like him wouldn't have any friends. But what does she know about his civilian life really?

Ladybug wants to ask him, wants to know what's wrong, wants to tell him about her own struggles. But they have to keep their identities safe. Asking him about his personal life would cross the line. It's not worth the risk.

As Chat's fake ears flatten against his head and his tail just hangs down lifelessly, she wonders whether she's wrong about not taking that risk. She has never seen him like this before.

Ladybug almost jumps, startled, when he finally opens his mouth.

"Remember..." Chat's voice is shaky and he tries to clear his throat. "Remember when I told you I found my soulmate?"

How could she forget?

Her body is stiff when she nods. She's not sure what to expect.

"There's something more... Something I didn't tell you."

She nods again and waits patiently. Chat seems scared. His bottom lip quivers a little. "When she... When my soulmate said it, said the words that have been tattooed to my back since the day I was born... I remember how my eyes widened and I obviously expected hers to do the same, but..." He takes a moment to swallow. "She said nothing. Did nothing. My words meant nothing to her."

She places her hand on his shoulder, gently. "Chat..."

"She's my soulmate, but I'm not hers."

Ladybug inhales sharply. She pulls her hand back.

Shock. That's what's she's feeling. Shock and confusion and a little bit of anger.

Onesided marks give a whole new meaning to the word _doomed_. It's hard to even find any information on those marks just because it happens so rarely. Technically, it _is_ possible, but if her memory serves her right, the last time this has happened was in the 30's.

Her partner deserves so much more.

"Are you sure?"

He nods and sniffs. "And despite this mess I still want her to be an important part of my life. I want her as my friend, I want her close, but... Oh, she's absolutely lovely, Ladybug, you'd like her."

She can see that he's trying to suppress the loneliness that his eyes can't hide. It's like poison, it spreads. Right now, it's trying to touch his heart, ruin him forever.

"When it happened... I-I didn't tell her, I just couldn't. It's not her fault that there's... that there's something wrong with me." His words sound bitter, as bitter as the tears that start to fall down his cheeks. The tears that he would show to no one else but her. "I can't even talk to my friends about this and I –"

"Shh, shh..." Standing on the tips of her toes, she wraps her arms around his neck, tightly, as if she could not bear to let him go. Chat sobs harder.

It would be heavenly to just bury the painful times deep underground. It would make life so much easier if the sorrowful memories could simply be erased. The past made a deep, aching cut to her soul, and Ladybug is not sure if it will ever fully heal.

Maybe the loneliness she saw in his eyes was merely a reflection. She knows all too well how it likes to eat people alive at night. It used to visit her often, it sat beside her bed in the darkness as she desperately waited for the moon to appear. Unfortunately, loneliness is not something you can easily escape or hide from.

Momentarily, she thinks of Adrien and how horrible it would have been if something like this had happened to her, too.

"Thank you", Chat whispers as he pulls back. "I'm glad I've got you."

Her heart suddenly swells with affection and she feels like she can't breathe properly. She wants to say, _if you still feel alone when you get home, I want you to know that I will be missing every part of you before I fall asleep because you have become the warmth in my heart_ , but doesn't. It would be too much.

Instead, she kisses his cheek softly, sadly, and watches him leave. She sighs as she looks up at the stars, only to find that they're not there.

Tonight _is_ going to be another lonely night.

-/-/-

Some days Adrien is okay with this.

Some days it's enough for him that he knows his soulmate sits behind him in class every day, to know that she's close, that he's finally found her. Now that he knows who his soulmate is, he can watch over her, protect her and keep her safe.

Some days just seeing Ladybug smile is enough to make him forget all his worries. And when she closes her eyes and kisses him tenderly, leaving her unique mark on his skin, Adrien pretty much forgets he even has a soulmate.

But then there are days when Adrien thinks about his mother and remembers that his whole life he waited for his soulmate, waited for _Marinette_ , to love him and save him. He remembers that Marinette's melodious laugh is supposed to be something he gets to cherish every day when he wakes up, something he should have the honour of listening to for the rest of his life. Those days are the worst. Everything looks a bit duller, everything seems unfair.

He's not her soulmate, but he's still _hers_. Marinette is his soulmate, but _she_ isn't his.

People never belong to other people, Adrien knows this. He doesn't want to own her, doesn't want stick a post-it note that says _Property of Adrien Agreste_ on her shirt. Love is not about possession, he doesn't need her every heartbeat. But the thought of calling his soulmate _his_ has always been comforting to him. The thought of his soulmate saying that he is theirs brings a smile to his lips. To him it means that he's no longer alone.

Adrien turns to look at Nino, who is secretly using his phone in class, probably texting Alya. Time almost seems to slow. There is a moment of realization as Adrien understands that no, he is not in fact alone anymore. He's not as lonely as he used to be.

A wave of exhilaration sweeps over him. His body relaxes, but his mind keeps whirling around. He finally has friends, more than one, more than Chloé, more than the quiet stars.

Next to him, Nino chuckles, staring at his phone with an amused grin on his lips. Adrien has no idea what is so funny, but his friend's laugh has to be one of the most amazing sounds he has ever heard.

Next, Alya snorts behind them and finally Marinette giggles. Adrien's smile grows wider.

"Bro, you have to see this", Nino whispers and nudges him. "The funniest cat video I've seen all week."

Eagerly, Adrien leans closer.

Suddenly, _finally_ , it sinks in that he was the one who saved himself from his old life. He was the brave knight who came to his rescue, who fought for his freedom.

As the cat in the video tries to attack its reflection, Adrien smiles to himself. Becoming a superhero saved him, yes, but falling in love with Ladybug might have helped, too. He loves her confidence, loves her determination and passion. She cares, so much, about everyone she meets. And she's free.

Maybe he's been wrong about soulmates this whole time. Maybe everything is right with his world after all.

-/-/-

Apparently, this is how the protectors of Paris spend their evenings nowadays. How on earth did their patrolling turn into nightly make out sessions? Ladybug isn't sure. She'll think about it more carefully once her lips are less occupied.

Chat lets out soft, encouraging noises, making Ladybug smile against his skin. His eyes close as she trails tiny kisses along his jaw, but she stops when she reaches the sensitive place below his ear that practically makes him whine. Brows furrowed, she pulls back.

Chat whines again, louder, but when her lips still don't return to his neck, he reluctantly opens his eyes. His flushed cheeks and slightly open mouth never fail to ignite something wonderful in her chest. She has to bite her bottom lip when she notices how his breath comes in short pants as he tries to catch his breath. And okay, that confused look is really cute on him, too.

"Wha... What is it? Wh-why did you stop?" _Adorable_.

Frowning, she tilts her head to one side and eyes him for a moment. Then she puts both of her hands on either side of his head and squeezes gently. Chat's confusion clearly grows deeper.

"I want to kiss your human ears, I want to see how your body reacts to it", she explains, serious, as she stares into his eyes. "But would you prefer it if I bit your leather ears instead?"

Chat blinks at her. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he bursts out laughing.

It's Ladybug's turn to blink. Pouting, she crosses her arms across her chest when he just keeps on laughing. There was nothing funny about her question, she was just worried she was going to do something that would make him uncomfortable.

"I thought something was wrong!" Chat says finally, wiping tears from his eyes. "But you just wanted to kiss me more!" He laughs again.

Unamused, Ladybug can't help but scoff. "Dumb cat, what's you answer then?"

"You mean, do I want you to touch my real ears?" In a hint, he wiggles his eyebrows as a smirk takes over his expression. She rolls her eyes when he bats his eyelashes at her. "Please?"

Sometimes Ladybug thinks that Chat's kitten eyes are even more beautiful than Adrien Agreste's whole face. But most of the time she just hates them.

"Please, please, pleeease?"

And so she kisses him, again and again and again, tasting happiness every time her lips meet his. It's almost easy to forget about Adrien. But is that really all Chat is now? A distraction?

Finally, she moves to his ears, pushing his messy hair out of the way. She notices how Chat's Adam's apple bobs against his throat as he gulps. She nibbles his earlobe gently and grins when his breathing instantly gets heavy. That's exactly the kind of reaction she wanted.

Ladybug chuckles quietly before breathing very softly into his ear. She can actually _feel_ how he shivers, feel how his goose bumps rise. And ah, there it is, Chat's quiet, perfect whimper.

With one last kiss to his fake cat ears, she goes back to his lips. This time the kiss is sweet, delicate. Chat's fingers tangle in her hair, lightly tugging, making her hum. He murmurs her superhero name against her lips, again, again, again. They take their time, everything is so warm.

Their mouths part, but their faces still stay intimately close. Ladybug leans even closer, pressing her forehead against his. Her yoyo beeps, informing her that it's almost midnight.

"Next time I'll press you up against a wall and kiss you senseless", she breaths, promises.

Chat's cheeks turn bright red. Unconsciously, he licks his lips. "Can't wait."

-/-/-

"Hello, princess."

With a startled shriek, the girl almost stumbles, barely catching her balance. She whirls around and her head shoots up, eyes squinting as she tries to find him. Chat shows her a wide grin when their eyes finally meet.

Bringing her hand to her chest, Marinette lets out a relieved sigh. "Chat Noir. What a surprise. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"I would never dare to risk your life like that", he says and chuckles, eyes soft. "I was on my way home when I saw you. It's really late, is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking", she assures. "But shouldn't you be in bed already? Being a superhero every day must be exhausting. Remember to sleep at least nine or ten hours per night, okay?"

He loves her playful side, it's something he rarely gets to see at school. It only seems to emerge whenever he meets her as Chat Noir. It's sad that she's not as comfortable around Adrien.

"I will, I will", he promises, mimicking the teasing tone of her voice. Then he turns his face to the starlit sky and closes his eyes for a moment. The skin around his face drinks in the glow of the moon and the stars that are hiding behind the grey clouds, and it's almost like they are quietly cheering him on. The city sounds at night let him know that he's free.

The whole time he can feel Marinette's eyes on him. One of his amazing cat instincts.

"Um, may I see you home?" he offers then, opening his eyes and meeting her curious gaze. "Are you afraid of the dark, perhaps?"

She shakes her head, the smile on her face almost affectionate. "Not this princess. So no thank you."

"Then how about..."

The rest of his words disappear before they can get out. Suddenly, the clouds move across the night sky, revealing the full moon, making the night less dark. The moonlight hits his classmates skin and Chat is left speechless when she practically _glows_. He can't stop his gulp. This sweet, beautiful, amazing girl is his _soulmate_.

Fascinated, Marinette looks at him with her unbelievable glowing skin and fantastic blue eyes, and Chat wonders if he's glowing, too. Then the girl covers her mouth with her hand to muffle her giggles. The sound wakes him from his trance. He can hear her just fine.

To let her know that he heard her, with a grin on his lips, he points to his cat ears.

The fake ears his lady had just kissed.

"What is so funny?" he asks but can't help beaming at the memory. He feels drunk for some reason.

"There's, um", Marinette stops and giggles again. "There's a little bit of lipstick on your cheeks, did you know?"

His neck is instantly on fire. As he furiously tries to wipe off the make up Ladybug left on him, his friend just laughs louder. The smile turns her eyes into luminous crescents.

Soon, Chat finds himself wondering what it would be like to kiss Marinette. He stops those thoughts as soon as they surface.

Nope, nope and nope! He's got a girlfriend, the best, most amazing girlfriend anyone could ever ask for and he wouldn't change her for anything!

But... this is his soulmate. He's _supposed_ to be curious.

And when he sees the almost adoring look on Marinette's face, for a second, Chat wonders whether she's thinking about the same thing. Because without knowing, he has loved her with his whole soul since the day he learned he had a soulmate. Maybe this isn't the kind of love he had expected it to be, maybe he had expected to marry his soulmate one day, but there's no denying that he is very fond of her. She's special, he's always known that.

All of a sudden, Marinette's phone starts ringing, making her beautiful smile disappear. She takes it quickly out of her pocket, and all Chat can do is stare because _how can even her loud gasp be so lovable?_

"Shoot, it's dad!"

Their eyes meet again, and for the second time since he learned who his soulmate is, Chat feels like his soulmate tattoo is on fire. He has to bite his lip in order to keep quiet. It's painful.

"Um, see you around, Chat Noir. Good night."

They almost collided.

But since 'almost' isn't enough, she leaves and he doesn't stop her.

-/-/-

"What's this?"

Marinette raises her gaze from her sketch book and turns to look at the small object in Alya's hand. It is a picture of her and Chat she recently found on the Ladyblog and decided to print out.

"Why do you have a photo of Ladybug and Chat Noir on your desk?" Alya's brows furrow.

In the picture, he has his arm around her shoulders and they're both grinning at each other like idiots. Marinette placed it on her desk simply because it warms her heart.

"What's wrong with that?" she replies and shrugs, trying to act like it isn't a big deal she has thrown away all of her pictures of sweet Adrien and replaced them with the superhero duo.

Alya shrugs back. "Never knew you liked them this much."

"Who _doesn't_ like Ladybug and Chat Noir?"

"True, but you've never been as dedicated as I have."

"You mean _obsessed_."

Another shrug. "Call it what you want."

Marinette shakes her head slightly and continues to sketch. The two of them sit in happy, comfortable silence for a while but it doesn't last long.

"Do you have a crush on her?"

Marinette can't stop her immediate snort. "On Ladybug? Me? That's hilarious, Alya."

"Everyone has a crush on Ladybug."

"Well, I don't."

"You're weird. Or lying. Possibly both."

Nothing is worse or more awkward than talking about your best friend's celebrity crush on your secret identity. It's also a bit uncomfortable when Nino, more often than you'd think, praises Chat Noir's body shape and perfect looking lips and Marinette has to act like she's never had her hungry mouth on the hero's neck.

Suddenly, a curious gleam appears to Alya's eyes. She doesn't even try to hide her smirk as she looks at the grin on Chat's face. "Do you have a crush on _him_ , then?"

Fire invades Marinette's cheeks instantly. Hiding her face, she looks away.

"O-of course not!" she exclaims, a bit too quickly. "You know very well that I like Adrien!"

Her friend looks around the room. Marinette knows that she won't find a single picture of Adrien anywhere.

Maybe it's better to let out more lies. Maybe it's better to say whatever Alya wants to hear before the girl has time to ask more questions.

"Okay, I admit that Chat Noir is very pretty but he's not my celebrity crush or anything", Marinette says and knows that she sounds pathetically unsure. "I've hidden my Adrien collection in my bag but I'll put it back up soon. I just, uh, like to keep the pictures with me at all times, I guess..."

Alya seems to buy her words, even teases her a little about it. Marinette lets out a sigh, but it doesn't make her feel relieved.

Secrets are heavy, lies poison to the bearer.

-/-/-

"I never noticed you wore a ring."

Immediately, Adrien pulls his hand back. He's still a bit shocked by the warm hug his father just gave him, still a bit tired from the fight with Jackady (he was so close to meeting Ladybug as his civilian self, dang it!), but his instincts still work. Right now, they are telling him to take a step back, to stay away. Adrien is not exactly sure why, but he decides to listen to them anyway.

The boy crosses his arms across his chest, hiding his ring. "I'm surprised you noticed it at all."

"Mm", is all his father says before he turns to leave. He reaches the door but stops before he can open it. He turns back to Adrien, eyes a little gentler, but lips still in a thin line.

Unconsciously, Adrien's hands ball into fists.

"What did your mark say again?" his father asks, making Adrien's heart almost jump to his throat because his father _never_ wants to talk about soulmates. "It has been a few years since I've seen it, you see."

Adrien swallows. The alarm bells start to ring in his head again. He can't let his father find out.

"Wh-why, uh..." He clears his throat awkwardly. "Why do you want to know?"

Gabriel Agreste is silent for a moment. Adrien is afraid that his stammering gave him away.

His father glances up at the Ladybug poster he has hanging above his bed. It only makes Adrien more nervous.

"You haven't met her yet, have you?" the man asks without taking his eyes off the red poster. "Your soulmate?"

Adrien blinks. Marinette's adorable smile flashes quickly through his mind, his lips always tingling because of Ladybug's kisses.

"'Her'? What if my soulmate is a boy?"

"Well, are they?"

"No." Adrien struggles to meet his father's cool eyes. "I mean, I don't know. I have not met them yet."

"But you'll let me know when you do, right? That was the deal, Adrien."

The boy nods.

His father nods back. "And remember that you are not allowed to leave this house without your bodyguard or my permission."

Then he finally leaves, not waiting for Adrien's reply. The conversation is over.

The moment the door closes, Plagg comes out of his hiding place and settles on Adrien's shoulder. The boy just sighs, staring at his ring. For the first time, his kwami stays quiet, too.

-/-/-

Lila Rossi transfers to the school from Italy.

Marinette is well aware how ugly she gets when she's jealous. It's something that is very hard to control, jealousy easily blinds her.

She had thought that her feelings for Adrien had faded away because of how much she now cares for Chat Noir. She had thought that her partner's warm lips would have completely erased her former crush from her heart. Clearly, she had been wrong. So very wrong.

So when the new girl flirts with Adrien and dares to ask him out on a date – something that Marinette herself never managed to do – her insides flare. On top of all that Lila is also a liar. Why on earth is everyone so enamored by this girl?

Marinette follows Adrien and Lila to the library and then later to the park, all the while jealousy curls inside her stomach. The angry fire only spreads more as she watches Lila lie and cheat and flutter her eyelashes at the boy.

Tikki tells her to calm down. Marinette instantly shakes her head. Nope, not going to happen. Her jealousy has already burned all the 'take it easy' buttons she has stored in her body.

Chloé she can handle. Sometimes she isn't even sure that the girl likes Adrien because of who he truly is, but rather because he is Adrien _Agreste_. Besides, it's quite obvious that Adrien doesn't like Chloé back anyway.

But there's something different about Lila. She seems more dangerous somehow. Or is this just her paranoia talking?

It's childish to think that the new girl is somehow threatening her future, Marinette knows this, but she can't help it. Lila is bad for Adrien, she's bad for the school and she's especially bad for Marinette's mental health. It is her duty as Ladybug and as Adrien's friend to save him from making a terrible mistake.

She quickly transforms into Ladybug without thinking about what will happen as a result, puts on her angriest glare and tells Lila off. Right away she feels better when the girl's face turns red with shame. She smiles proudly and feels powerful, confident.

Lila storms off with tears in her eyes. The heroine is not prepared for the angry, disappointed look that appears on Adrien's face when he turns to face her.

"Hey, aren't you _ashamed_?"

And just like that Ladybug's world stops. Her blood runs cold, her ears start ringing. The words on her back burn her skin. She feels dizzy.

Pink spreads across Adrien's cheeks when he realizes how disrespectful he sounded. He softens his voice immediately. "I-I mean, weren't you a bit harsh with her, no?"

Ladybug is too shocked to say anything. There's just utter confusion as she gapes at him.

The words that just left those perfect lips... Could it be? Is Adrien really her...? But...

Finally Ladybug snaps out of it. If Adrien really is who she thinks he is, she has to say something. If he's her soulmate then her next words will change his world, too.

Nervously, as she plays with her yoyo, Ladybug mumbles something about not being fond of liars. She waits, hopes, almost _begs_ in her mind, but Adrien doesn't even blink. Something cracks inside her.

Maybe it is a coincidence, she thinks right before she flees. Maybe she's just going crazy. Adrien cries her name, but she doesn't turn back.

 _Hey, aren't you ashamed?_

Ladybug shuts her eyes. Those are the exact same words she has been hiding for years with big shirts and plasters that match her skin tone. The words she has feared her whole life.

It can't be a coincidence. Even that little 'hey' was there. Adrien Agreste is her soulmate.

In her daydreams, this has happened at least a million times. She says his words, he says hers. They both confess their true feelings which then leads to a bunch of kisses. Simple.

But this is not a dream, this is not fantasy. Her soulmate is exactly who she wants him to be. She should feel a lot happier, but instead she's just miserable. There's nothing simple about this.

Her thoughts are swimming. Everything is hazy. She has known Adrien for a year now, so why hasn't this happened earlier? Was this the first time she talked to him as _Ladybug_? She can't remember.

And why didn't Adrien say anything? Why, why, _why_ didn't she see anything in his eyes, anything that would have indicated that he, too, felt the same burning on his skin?

Ladybug hops up onto a rusty roof, panting hard. Her mouth is wide open, as if she needs extra oxygen. Leaning against the chimney, she shakes her head violently, her heartbeat loud in her ears.

Nothing makes sense. All she knows is that she messed up horribly. Adrien must dislike Ladybug now. Game over, Marinette, she tells herself.

But he was right. She had given her jealousy too much power. She had humiliated Lila in front of the boy she liked and that was not okay. She _is_ ashamed.

Ladybug considers going back and apologizing to both Lila and Adrien. She needs to talk with him, she's got so many questions. Her face falls when she realizes that Adrien can't give her any answers.

Chat's faceless, nameless mystery girl suddenly invades her thoughts. Ladybug curses under her breath. How can it be that they are both this unlucky, this doomed? Is this the price they have to pay for their superpowers? She's not sure she's willing to pay it.

The only thing worse than not having Adrien Agreste as her soulmate is knowing that he is hers, but she's not his.

-/-/-

"Do you want to talk about it?" Chat asks the next day as he lands on top of the Eiffel Tower. It's always windy and kind of chilly there, but at least it is a quiet spot. And they really need to talk in private.

Ladybug says nothing, just stares at the city lights. Chat sighs and sits beside his partner.

It's late, almost dark. The moonlight gleams softly, dancing around them. It makes the skin around Ladybug's mask glow like she is made of diamonds. For a long moment Chat Noir can only gape at her. The tiny freckles on her nose, her dark and shiny hair, even the way she has pursed her pink lips in a pout... He is sure he's never seen anything more majestic in his life. She's radiant, even when she's upset. This time his lady reminds him of Marinette.

Chat's forehead wrinkles in a frown. After what happened with Lila and Volpina yesterday, he still hasn't figured out what made the love of his life so angry. He knows it couldn't have been just because Lila had told a few lies... could it?

"You were kind of... tense yesterday", he tries again.

Ladybug shrugs, refusing to meet his eyes. "Had a bad day, that's all."

Her words only make Chat's worry grow. She still isn't herself.

Slowly, very slowly, he puts an arm around her shoulders. He's ready to pull back immediately in case she doesn't want to be touched right now. But Ladybug allows it, even moves her body a little closer to his. She rests her head on his shoulder and Chat lets out a breath he didn't even realize he had been holding. He tightens his hold on her.

"Are you really sure you don't want to talk about it?" His voice is endlessly gentle, just like his thumb that draws circles against her arm. "I'm a good listener, you know."

Ladybug hesitates for the briefest of seconds but eventually shakes her head. He nods once, understanding. His head drops down onto hers.

In the quietness of the night Chat listens to Ladybug's steady breathing. Somehow it makes him less worried. Paris doesn't seem as chaotic either.

Oh, how he wishes he could just take her home with him, cuddle with her until she feels better, his arms protectively wrapped around her waist. Do his hands even have the power to wash away all of her troubles? Could he make her feel safer with soft whispers and kisses? Should he try that right now?

Ladybug sniffs suddenly, making Chat jump as he wakes up him from his thoughts. The girl lifts her head to finally meet his gaze. Her expression has turned from blank to dead serious, her eyes saying ' _I don't want to hurt you'_. Worry curls up tight in his stomach once again.

"Chat, listen", she starts firmly, but her hands are tender when she cups his face. She lightly touches his lips with her right thumb. "I..."

The boy gulps. He expects the worst, even though he has no idea what that would even be. His mind is a chaos.

What if Ladybug doesn't want to be with him anymore? Maybe she has decided to give up her Miraculous and he's going to lose her? What is he going to do if she tells him that she's _dying_? Oh god, what if –

"I met my soulmate, Chat."

He flinches instantly. Without realizing he pulls away, like her touch had suddenly burned him. Ears drooping, Chat feels how his heart sinks within him.

So, she really is going to break up with him.

The look in Ladybug's eyes tells him that she's a little hurt by his reaction. Hurt, but not surprised. She knows that soulmates are a big deal to him.

Ladybug opens her mouth to say something; perhaps she wants to explain or tell him about the details, but Chat doesn't think his heart can take it. So, before she has time to say or do anything, he throws his arms around her and hugs her as tightly as he can. The girl gasps, and Chat pretends he doesn't notice how stiff her body is. She does not return the hug.

"I'm so happy for you", he manages to choke out before he buries his face into her neck. "I'm so glad you found him. Congratulations, my lady."

She still doesn't hug him back, but her body is so warm, so familiar, so comforting that he never wants to let go. Besides, he isn't lying. A part of him truly is happy for her, overjoyed even! Ladybug deserves the best, she deserves to be happy even if that means he'll no longer get to kiss and hold her like this. As long as she doesn't completely vanish from his life he'll be okay, eventually. What matters the most is her happiness.

A part of him is absolutely devastated. He's not even going to try to deny that. It hurts, of course it does. When the person you are in love with tells you that they've found someone else, someone that the universe has chosen for them, someone you know is _better_ than you, it does nasty things to your heart. Chat knows he shouldn't be this surprised. He knew damn well that this day was coming.

After a moment, Ladybug pushes him away. Chat's eyebrows furrow when she shakes her head and pigtails furiously.

"No." Her voice is nothing but a sad whisper. "No, Chat, you don't understand."

Only now he realizes that there are tears in her eyes.

Ladybug's bottom lip quivers slightly. "He's someone I care about deeply. He's... Oh, Chat, I used to _love_ him."

There's a painful little pang of sadness in his chest, but he does his best to ignore it. Ladybug is right about one thing, though: he really doesn't understand why she's so upset.

"Isn't that a good thing then, if you already like this person?" he asks as delicately as he can but still clearly confused. "What's the problem?"

"I'm not..." Her voice trembles and she looks away before taking a deep breath. "I'm not his soulmate."

There's a long pause.

Chat's eyes widen. He blinks once, twice, not knowing what to say or do. It is very, _very_ rare to have a one-sided soulmark. How is it even possible that they both have a soulmate that doesn't share their words?

 _Doomed_. The word echoes in his head. _Doomed_ is the word that Ladybug uses and for the first time ever, Chat thinks she might be right. They are both trapped in a hopeless situation.

"I hoped that sleep would remove some of my confusion and that I wouldn't feel this... this..." She gestures to herself and searches for the right word, "miserable! But my mind won't let me rest. All I can think about is..."

She stops mid sentence and hides her face in her hands. She sniffs again, louder this time. Seeing his strong partner like this breaks Chat's heart, especially when he knows exactly how she feels. His chest hurts for her, hurts for them both.

The sky has turned black. The wind makes similar sobbing sounds as Ladybug does as it sweeps over the Eiffel Tower. There are no stars tonight.

Chat clears his throat. He wants to touch her. He wants to kiss the top of her head and reassure her that she'll always have him. He wants to tell her that he'll never leave, but something stops him. Instead, he forces himself to ask the question that's been bothering him the whole evening. He needs to know.

"Do you... Do you want to break up with me?"

Ladybug's head shoots up immediately. She blinks a few times, long lashes softly touching the skin under her eyes. Her mouth opens a little as she stares at him, clearly taken aback by his question.

"Break... break up with you?" she asks, brow furrowing. Then, her eyes widen as if she finally realized something. Somewhat shyly, she turns to look at her feet as she bites her lower lip. When she looks back at him her cheeks have turned slightly pink. Chat is again confused.

"Um, I'm sorry but..." she starts almost carefully, like she's trying to sound as gentle as possible because she's afraid her words will break him. "How can I break up with you when we were never even together in the first place?"

An unstable and shaky silence falls between them. It is the longest pause of Chat's life.

His mind goes blank, his whole body freezes. He aches.

Out of all the things she could have said, this was probably the last thing Chat had expected to hear. This is actually worse, so much worse. All these months he had thought that she felt the same, that she, too, sensed the strong connection they both know always exists between Ladybug and Chat Noir. He had thought that they were choosing each other, defying their marks together. Has she just been playing with his feelings all along? Chat honestly can't say.

Ladybug patiently waits for his reply. Chat wants to look away but his eyes seem to be glued to her. Her, his partner, the person that matters the most to him. And she's so amazing, beautiful, extraordinary. This girl could create new stars and planets with her mind and skillful fingers if she wanted, Chat doesn't doubt that even for a second. Ladybug is not perfect, but he certainly has never met anyone as special as her.

Tears suddenly sting his eyes. He's never felt this foolish.

Next to him, Ladybug coughs and... is that regret on her face? Or _pity_?

"Kitty, I know that we've been... y-you know", she says lamely and takes a quick glance at his lips. "But I never meant it as anything serious. I-I thought you knew."

Every word is a stab to Chat's heart which just bleeds and bleeds.

"And anyway, we both have a soulmate and –"

"Our soulmates don't want us", he reminds her, spitting the words out like bitter poison. Ladybug flinches, but Chat knows that what he said is the truth. He has already admitted to himself that Marinette's laugh is one of his favourite sounds in this world. Realizing this has not done him any good though, has it? She's still not his.

Ladybug hangs her head, giving up, which is something she rarely does. Chat hates how tired she looks.

Letting out a heavy sigh the girl whispers with an equally heavy voice, "I'm so sorry, Chat. I never meant to hurt you."

There's a short pause as Chat pulls himself together, taking deep and slow breaths. Then he moves closer to her again and places an unsure hand on her shoulder. The longest he has ever stayed mad at someone was half a day so really this is nothing new.

He takes a moment to swallow. _I wonder what Marinette would do in this situation..._

"It's okay, Buginette", he says then and pats her back a little awkwardly. He can hear her sharp intake of breath, and to be honest, the tenderness in his voice surprises him, too. "It's okay, it's okay."

 _Marinette would be kind, understanding_.

Ladybug raises her teary gaze. "It is?"

Chat practically melts. He's got a lot of weaknesses and his partner is definitely one of them.

"Yeah", he nods, trying to sound casual even though his throat tightens. Sometimes he thinks he's too soft for his own good. "Everything's fine."

Ladybug lifts her eyebrows and stares at him. He knows that she can see right through him.

 _Humour, use your amazing sense of humour_ , his mind guides him. He needs to fill the air with stupid jokes or puns, he needs to lighten the mood to change the look on her face.

"I'm serious!" Chat exclaims, leaning back and throwing his hands behind his head. An easy, smug smile spreads across his lips. "Besides, I know for sure that you are desperately in love with my delicious, irresistible lips. I count that as a win, honestly."

His blabbering seems to work because Ladybug's eyes finally light up. She snorts loudly.

"Oh yeah? And how can you know what I think about your lips?"

A real grin takes over his face. "Well, my lady, tell me then. Who wouldn't love to kiss Chat Noir? Who could resist _my_ lips?"

Laughing, she nudges him playfully. "Dork."

He wiggles his eyebrows at her. "I almost wish your soulmate knew how much time you spend your lips pressed against mine. I bet he would be sooo jealous if he knew that every night your last thoughts are of me."

He wonders whether he went too far, mentioning her soulmate. Maybe he's the one who's just a tiny, tiny bit jealous.

To his surprise, Ladybug does not look angry. She does not groan or roll her eyes. Instead, she giggles and smiles and looks a bit happier. Almost carefree, like she should.

Chat hesitates for a second. Then, lowering his head, he lets his lips lightly touch hers. Because really, who is he to deny it? There are most likely a lot of people who could resist Chat Noir, who knows, who _cares_. But Chat himself is unable to resist _her_.

Slowly, Ladybug closes her eyes and leans forward to kiss him back. A long, delighted sigh escapes her. Chat can feel her mouth curve against his with a smile. He smiles, too.

Ladybug takes his face between both of her hands, drawing him even closer. Kisses in the moonlight are his favourite kind of kisses and this one is no exception. Ladybug kisses him eagerly, passionately, catching his bottom lip between her own. Her touch is always like an electric shock, forcing his heart to pound.

Chat realizes that he really was right, Ladybug _does_ like kissing him. And before he even notices, she is already lying on her back, body pressed against the cold iron, and he's hovering over her, their lips fiercely moving together. Her hands hold him firmly to her. Not that she even needs to do that, there's nowhere else he would rather be right now.

Her fingers wrap around the bell around his neck. Involuntarily, Chat lets out a quiet moan when she tugs at it, pressing their bodies together. Ladybug swallows all of his sounds and hums happily in response. Only when she starts to pull the bell down, Chat breaks the kiss.

Through half lidded eyes he looks at her. _Blue_. That's all he sees. There is so much brightness swimming in his vision that he feels like he's drowning. He would dive head first into her ocean if she let him, he would be hers to keep if she wanted. He doesn't know her real name but he knows her heart.

Breathing is suddenly hard. Chat's heart jumps almost painfully, his cheeks flush hot.

"I love you", accidentally slips out his mouth.

His eyes widen instantly. Hers do the same. Chat slams both of his hands to his mouth, afraid that he has just ruined everything.

For a moment his partner eyes him suspiciously, squinting at him like she's having a hard time understanding his words, like she doesn't believe them. Then, slowly, the corners of her lips quirk up until she is positively beaming. His heart swells.

All of a sudden Ladybug attacks his face with quick, loving kisses. His cheeks, his forehead, the corners of his lips... No matter where she touches, it tickles his skin in the best way possible.

"Ladybug –, hey –, stop –", he has to pause to chuckle when she kisses his eyelids. " _Hey_!"

It's hard to say anything between the sweet kisses. In the end, they both collapse on the floor of the tower from laughing so hard. Chat can't help it, his eyes well up when he looks at his partner's sunny grin because _oh god_ , how much he loves her. He wants her to always smile like that, he just wants her to be happy. Everything is so bittersweet.

If only they weren't marked, if only they could choose each other...

Ladybug gently pulls his face back down and kisses the tip of his nose. Then she whispers so quietly that Chat is quite sure he isn't even meant to hear it. But he does, thanks to his cat ears.

" _I don't deserve you_."

The words form a lump in his throat. Chat tries to swallow it down, but it's no use.

He doesn't agree. At all. The two of them are equals. They complement, help and support each other. They enjoy spending time together and even when they're apart they're still a team. To Chat they have always been soulmates. So yes, they _do_ deserve each other.

Ladybug smiles at him and he tries to swallow again. It is a sad smile, one that could make the stars and the moon above them cry. Because she is the sun, and the stars are her family. He is her moon and they all love her unconditionally.

Her arms encircle his neck. Chat hugs her back immediately.

"I lied to you", she whispers next and this time the words are meant for him. Chat shivers when she kisses his right temple. "I lied when I said that I wasn't serious about our relationship. I wish it was you. I have wished for you to be my soulmate many, many times. Way before we even started, um, whatever this is." And he can see that it pains her to admit to herself that she still wants 'whatever they have together now'.

Chat closes his eyes and sees Marinette. He sees his classmate's cute freckles and bright blue eyes. In his ears he hears her nervous stuttering and excited laughter. Does Marinette keep her hair tied in pigtails because she's a fan of Ladybug? What does she smell like? Does she smell like beautiful gardens and freshly baked pastries like his lady does? She might, he thinks.

Chat opens his eyes when Ladybug pulls back from the hug. He lets out an awkward laugh and rubs the back of his neck before opening his mouth. "It would be so much easier if we were just each other's soulmates, wouldn't it? I mean, like without knowing that we actually were."

He doesn't know what he's saying. His mouth is moving on its own. Is he seriously implying that Ladybug could be Marinette? No, no he isn't, but a boy can dream, right?

He's surprised when he sees something flicker in Ladybug's eyes, something close to _hope_. But the light leaves her blue as quickly as it came and Chat wonders whether he just imagined it.

His cheeks burn a little. He has to swallow twice before he gets his voice to work.

"Fo-forget that I said anything." It comes out steady enough. "Do you think I could have another hug?"

Her expression softens. This time it is Ladybug who holds her partner close, running her fingers through his hair. The warmth of her body presses against him, calming the boy a little. Chat closes his eyes. A quiet purr escapes him when he notices that her heartbeat matches the rhythm of his.

He adores Marinette. Always has. If they had been each other's soulmates, he would probably have grown to adore her just as much as he now adores Ladybug. Maybe even more, who knows.

He wonders if Marinette knows that she's a natural-born leader, someone people want to look up to, just like Ladybug. They both make leading look so effortless. Chat wishes he could be a bit more like them, he wishes he knew his real soulmate better.

But the truth is that all he really wants is to spend the rest of his life free, with his best friend, with the person he loves the most. He wants to have the freedom to choose that person himself.

And when he takes Ladybug's hand and intertwines their fingers, Chat knows exactly who that person would be.

-/-/-

Marinette watches Adrien closely whenever she can and secretly follows him around even more than she did before. This time it is not about her obsession. Or his beautiful face. Or his kindly twinkling eyes. It's not like she can stalk Adrien to the ends of the galaxy for the rest of her life, that'd be ridiculous. She's just curious, that's all.

She's not exactly sure what she's looking for. A sign? A little bit of hope? What kind of hope? Is she hoping to get a glance at the boy beneath the perfect model act?

All of those she supposes. After what Chat said to her on patrol a few weeks ago she has not been able to shake this strange feeling.

 _What if they are soulmates without knowing it?_

Marinette tries to be sneaky and observe Adrien when he's spending time with Nino. He is always more relaxed and carefree around his best friend, his smile and chuckles are genuine. To her surprise, Marinette discovers that the boy jokes around a lot, a _lot_ , puns flying out of his mouth like it is the most natural thing in the world. None of his puns have been cat related though.

So far.

She has tried pretty much everything to get Adrien's attention. Yesterday, she came to school wearing a Ladybug themed shirt and was disappointed when all he did was ask her if she was a big fan. (Although, her heart might have melted a little bit when Adrien, while clapping his hands, told her that he is a dedicated Ladybug fan.)

Last week Marinette gathered all her courage and went as far as taking the boy's hand and kissing his knuckles the way Chat always does. She's sure she has never seen Adrien so red. His ears, his cheeks, the back of his neck were so bright that if she had touched him then she would have got a second-degree burn. Only when a high-pitched whimper had left the boy's lips, Marinette realized what she had done. She squeaked a quick apology before running away, stumbling with her feet and almost falling.

There had been nothing funny about that. She had had to avoid him for a week. _A week_. She had been Adrienless for seven days and that had been seven days too long. Thank god she always has Alya and Chat to cheer her up.

Chewing on her bottom lip, the girl sighs inwardly. Should she tell Adrien? Should she risk everything for her soulmate who doesn't even know that she secretly adores him? But then again, sometimes, she catches Adrien staring at her and she wonders if he already knows.

She can't help her curiosity. It's still crazy that Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't each other's soulmates. It would be reasonable, it would feel _right_. And the fact that both of their soulmarks are one-sided... Something is definitely going on.

Marinette can't help but think _what if_. What if her civilian self was the one who blurted out Chat Noir's words at some point without realizing it? What if Adrien is...

She shakes her head. That... that would mean she has had her tongue inside Adrien Agreste's mouth more than once and her hands on his thighs basically every night. She almost wants to laugh at the absurdity.

But what _if_...

Marinette shakes her head again and finally wakes up from her thoughts. They're in class. She's been staring at Adrien's perfectly styled hair for the past twenty minutes.

Alya elbows her and raises an eyebrow at her odd behaviour, silently asking what she's doing. Marinette just shows her a bright smile, flashing her teeth. Then she goes straight back to her daydreaming.

She doesn't know what's got into her. Adrien and Chat Noir the same person? It's crazy, impossible even. She must have lost her mind.

"Hey, you okay?" Alya whispers, leaning closer.

It takes a few seconds before Marinette nods. Her eyes seem to move on their own, once again landing on the boy sitting in front of her. Adrien's golden hair shines just as brightly as Chat's.

But it's just a stupid dream.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

-/-/-

Adrien's mouth is wide open, jaw practically touching the floor as he stares at his window in disbelief. His thoughts are swimming, body still half asleep. A quick look at the clock reveals that it's 1am in the morning.

Is this a dream? Is he asleep? He must be. Why else would his partner knock on his bedroom window in the middle of the night? But she does look pretty darn real to him.

Adrien rubs his eyes furiously. He tries blinking several times. Nothing changes, so he has to open his mouth.

"Ladybug..." he breathes her name, stating the obvious like an idiot. "Wh-what an honour..."

"Hello", the heroine greets, waving her hand shyly. If Adrien wasn't so sleepy right now he could probably appreciate her cute blush better. "I-I'm sorry that I woke you up and I understand if you want me to leave but I just... I couldn't wait any longer."

Question marks try their best to fill Adrien's head while big, Ladybug-coloured hearts happily dance around his vision. Finally, when her words really sink in, all of the symbols suddenly turn into alarmed exclamation marks. A feeling of panic starts to grow in him.

Wait, _what_?

"Can I, um, come in? I have something I want to show you..."

It takes a moment but after a few minutes of rude gaping, Adrien understands that this is actually happening and forces his body to move. He shoots up from his bed to his feet...

...and immediately stumbles and falls facedown to the floor. With a groan, he picks himself up only to stumble again. Cursing quite loudly under his breath, Adrien wonders whether he should just give up. Maybe embarrassment will spare his life if he just waits for Ladybug to leave.

 _No!_ disagrees an angry voice inside his head. He has to stop being so pathetic. The love of his life is literally _right there_ , waiting for him to open the window so that she can come in.

To his room.

In the middle of the night.

When he is not transformed.

Adrien gulps, feeling his face heat up. He gets up again, very slowly this time, praying that his legs won't fail him a third time. Everything goes very well until he looks down and realizes that he's wearing nothing but his underwear. _Shit_.

With wide eyes he looks back up. Ladybug quickly looks away, but the colour of her face now perfectly matches her suit. He's sure his ears do, too.

"E-excuse me..." he mumbles and quickly disappears into the bathroom, locking the door before Ladybug can say anything. He leans against the door, breathing hard. Plagg is still fast asleep, snoring in the bathtub.

 _What is she doing here, what is she doing **here**_? Adrien's mind screams, his insides overall a chaos. _Does she know I'm Chat Noir? How did she figure it out? What the hell is going on?_

Then a quiet, hopeful voice in his chest whispers that _maybe_ , maybe something wonderful is about to happen. The voice gets louder and louder, more excited by the second, saying that maybe Ladybug is here to finally tell him her real name. Maybe she's here to whisk him away from this prison forever and sweep him off his feet. Maybe they'll get married at sunrise.

Or maybe he's just getting a little ahead of himself.

Taking a deep, deep breath, Adrien feels his heart rate slowing down. A minute later he comes out of the bathroom fully clothed.

Only to find that Ladybug is no longer there.

Another rush of panic. Adrien hurries to the window, looking around frantically. He sees no one.

Slowly, he lets his shoulders slump. A sad sigh escapes his lips as his pounding heart fills with disappointment. Sadness threatens to overwhelm him. Plagg's horrible snoring echoes from the bathroom but it doesn't make him feel any less lonely.

Once again, Adrien is alone. By now he should be used to it.

-/-/-

Ladybug lands next to her partner, anxious and restless. It is probably the least graceful landing she has ever done. Her nervousness only grows when she sees how tense Chat looks.

Her partner turns around to greet her, smiling somewhat awkwardly. She can't return the smile, her mouth just won't do it.

"Chat, we need to talk..." she starts gently, taking a careful, hesitant step closer.

Immediately, Chat pales at her words. Ladybug's body freezes. Chat's white face is all she needs to know that she was right. She was right and now everything feels surreal, like she's in the middle of some absurd dream.

Chat looks scared, his tail lashing behind him. "You... you know? Who I.."

She is scared, too, because what if she is wrong about _the other thing_. This is the reason why she had kind of wanted to cancel patrol tonight, but, well, here she still is.

"I... I think so", she tells him honestly. "I wanted to talk to you about what you said, um, what you said about our soulmarks and... I've been thinking..."

This is it. If she's wrong, it might ruin them forever. But she needs to know.

"Chat, I think we're soulmates."

The baton accidentally slips from his hands. Ladybug can almost see how his heart falls along with it. Chat's ears flatten against his head, the expression on his face screaming panic. He looks _broken_ , and she can't understand why she thought this would be a good idea.

"Please, don't do this", he begs and pleads, green eyes duller than before. Not only does he look broken, he also sounds like it. "Don't get my hopes up. Please, I can't..."

Ladybug is unable to control the chaos inside her. She doesn't want to hurt him, doesn't want to torment him more when he already looks like he's on the verge of tears. Instead, she wants to run. She wants to run far, far away and disappear for a while. She should walk away, save both of them from heartbreak by keeping the secrets inside her. But...

"Adrien Agreste."

Even before the full name is out of her mouth, Chat's body jumps, his feet coming off the ground. Her guess is that it's more fear that surprise.

"Wha... what?"

Ladybug takes another step closer, until she can touch him. He lets her, but his body is stiff, eyes wide. Hands trembling, she trails the edges of his mask. Gazing into the eyes of your loved one when you're revealing your biggest secret is not easy, Ladybug notices. But she still has hope.

"My soulmate. Adrien Agreste." The hopeful look on her face turns to desperation. "Please, tell me I'm right. Tell me it's you."

 _Let me be right, let me be right..._ she pleas in her mind. _Please, my love..._

Chat's jaw drops to the floor. He tries to speak, but he has suddenly lost his voice. All sentences trail off into silence.

Relief floods her when happiness finally work its way across his dumbstruck face. The smile comes slowly, warming his eyes, touching them with unexpected humor. Hand slightly shaking, Chat moves a stray piece of messy hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. Light-headed with relief, Ladybug sighs at his gentle touch.

"Marinette?"

She shivers. Her name coming out of her partner's mouth like that... It sounds incredible, like it is the most beautiful word in the world.

"Hi..." she says nervously.

"Hi", he replies and smiles just as nervously.

Love rushes through her heart, painting her vision with glittering stardust. The puzzle pieces fall into place. Like the sun and the moon, they've just been waiting for their eclipse, their collision when they could finally share the sky.

Confusion comes back, colouring Chat's expression again. "How long have you known? Is this why you've been acting so strange at school?"

Groaning, she hides her face in her hands. "Please, don't remind me of that." This would be the worst time to die of embarrassment, she absolutely refuses to do that right now.

Chat tries his best to bite his lip but he just can't keep his mouth shut. "You kissed my hand. In front of everyone." Why does he sound so _smug_? "Do you have any idea how flustered I was? You were flirting with me and my mind just blanked."

"Look who's talking! You flirted with Marinette as Chat Noir whenever you could and then when you saw Ladybug you couldn't control the hearts in your eyes." Quickly, before he can argue, she continues, her cheeks turning pink. "So, would you like to finally, actually be my boyfriend?"

Chat blinks his eyes, stares at her for a moment. "Boyfriend is not enough", he says then. "I want to be your husband."

The dead serious expression on his face makes her laugh. "Too early for that, kitty. Would you just like to be my soulmate, then?"

At her quiestion, Chat lets out a dreamy sigh, eyes hazy with affection and devotion. The look of love suits him more than any other emotion, she decides, especially when it is directed at her.

Chat leans closer, slowly, slowly, slowly, his lips almost touching hers. He whispers, "I want that more than anything."

She doesn't want to admit it, but there are actual tears in her eyes. She is finally ready to love him, ready to love not only Adrien and Chat, but also her _soulmate_. She's ready to accept her person with all her heart. The future will undoubtedly throw more obstacles in their path, but they will tackle them, they will run through rain and sunsets together, she's sure of that.

"You and I, we're made of something much greater than stars", she tells him, confidence in her voice. The sun and the moon and all the stars above approve.

Shaking his head, Chat lets out an incredulous laugh. It almost sounds like he's going insane. "None of this makes any sense..."

"Do we make that much sense anyway?" she asks but grins. "I mean, we're superheroes with super kwamis and we fight supervillains. We're special so we also deserve special soulmate tattoos."

"'Special'? I think the word you're looking for is _messed up_."

Her grin grows bigger. "In that case, I'm glad that I share my messed up soulmate tattoo with you."

And then her soulmate wraps his arms around her as tightly as he can. The warmth of his embrace melts away the world around them and for a moment, she's breathless. She realizes how familiar his body already is, maybe has always been. All of a sudden she is sure that this is the person she wants to protect and love for the rest of her life. And she knows he'll do the same for her.

It is the best hug she's ever received.

Chat – Adrien – buries his face in the crook of her neck. She feels how he mumbles against her skin, feels how his words touch her. Slowly, she catches onto their echo. His words repeat and repeat in a low chant like the promise that is tattooed to her back.

"I found you", he breathes. "I found you."

She smiles. "And I found you."

-/-/-

"Thank you", he whispers, again and again, but no matter how many times he says it, it will never be enough. The soft kisses against her neck tickle her skin, chanting _merci, merci, merci_ with him. Marinette pulls back, slightly giggling, slightly drunk, a big smile on her face. Adrien's heart wants to burst out of his chest.

She moves closer, pressing his knuckles to her lips, staring at him with wild, mischievous eyes. The lovely blush she still manages to spread across his face tells her that she has just married the right person.

 _Where did you come from?_ The question flutters in her mind. _How incredible must the universe be because it created you?_

Looking into his eyes, she sees everything they've been through together, both as Ladybug and Chat Noir and as Adrien and Marinette. The first time they met, the black umbrella he gave her, the first time she kissed him. Their messed up soulmarks, the tears of joy on Chloé's face when they announced their engagement, all the happiness they've felt together.

But she also sees the hard times they've faced. She broke his heart, he broke hers. They even managed to break their own hearts. She sees the never-ending loneliness. She remembers Adrien's mental breakdown when they found out that his father is Papillon.

Marinette cherishes those memories, too. She has locked them inside her heart, she appreciates them. She knows that he does, too. They wouldn't be here now without them.

They kiss a bit longer until their breaths get a little stuttery. Softly, Marinette touches his left shoulder-blade, right where she knows his mark is. Adrien sighs happily, practically melting into the touch. If he was transformed he would be purring.

She moves to give his neck a feather light kiss and then mouths sweet nothings into his ear. Suddenly, Adrien's body starts shaking. Marinette pulls back, alarmed.

His words are barely audible when he asks, "You'll never leave me?" He's never been ashamed of crying in front of her.

"You know I won't, Adrien." Her words are soft, healing.

"And I promise I'll never leave you", he practically sobs, happily, and a moment later she feels the weight of his forehead lean against her shoulder.

One side of her mouth quirks up. "Never?"

"Never."

She nods, wipes a stray tear from his cheek and takes off her husband's fancy black jacket. "Good."

They are far from doomed.

-/-/-

No matter how many times the doctors tell her that there might come a day when Adrien doesn't recognize her anymore, Marinette never thought it would actually happen.

Soulmates are glued together by fate and that alone should be strong enough to stand the test of time. But they are Ladybug and Chat Noir, they share something even more powerful. Their destinies are linked, tangled and unique. Their bond is so much stronger, _they're_ so much stronger.

Marinette and Adrien have been together for sixty years for goodness sake. With hearts like theirs she _knows_ that nothing will ever tear them apart.

But not even the black promise, the Miraculous, the love she feels for him, saved her husband from dementia.

"Good morning, kitty", she greets as she closes the door gently. Her legs feel sleepy and weak but that's nothing new. After the surgery her left knee just hasn't been the same.

Her heart hasn't been the same since the first time Adrien couldn't remember their grandchildren's names.

Adrien is lying on top of the bed sheets, as usual. Today he says nothing, just eyes her with curiosity. His golden hair has turned grey, but his eyes still hold the same bright green glow. It is something not even the white of the boring hospital walls can dull.

There is sweetness on his face that reminds her of the old days. The days when they were endlessly chasing each other without even knowing it.

Marinette takes a moment to swallow. Adrien does look very tired, though. Like he had never stopped running and chasing.

He looks like a fallen angel. Or maybe he's just an old cat.

"Who are you?" Adrien asks in a hoarse voice, shattering Marinette's heart in an instant. She just saw him three days ago. What changed?

It hurts, but she still manages a smile. Moving slowly, she sits down on the bed next to his legs.

"Aren't you ashamed?" Her voice is playful as she echoes Adrien's first words to Ladybug. "You don't even recognize your own soulmate?"

Adrien's tired eyes grow a little bigger. A soft gasp fills the air. "You're my soulmate? What... but... _really_?"

She nods.

"My soulmate..."

She can almost see how the speech flashes in his eyes. The speech he had prepared for his soulmate years and years ago. At this point she knows it by heart.

 _I've been waiting for you, I missed you, so much. I will never leave you, I promise. Thank you for existing and..._

Adrien takes her hand, brings it to his lips and places a gentle kiss on her knuckles with his dry lips. Marinette can practically hear how her heart breaks.

"...I love you", he whispers.

Adrien is so gentle in his touch that her eyes automatically close. It is kind of funny in a heartbreaking way, but she does believe his words. There truly is sweetness in bitterness and pain.

"I love you, too", she only mouths back because she knows her voice will fail her. "More than anything in this world."

He looks surprised. She's not sure how many times her heart can break before it just stops beating altogether. If there's one thing Adrien should know, it is that he means the world to her, that he's her once in a lifetime.

For a brief moment it seems like he might try to get up, move his legs. In the end he decides that intertwining their fingers is enough. The silence is comfortable.

Adrien is the one to break it. "Hmm. I wanted to show you my Pokémon collection, but..." He looks around, worried. "I don't know where I put it."

A sad little laugh escapes her lungs. She places a tender hand on his arm. "That's alright, Adrien, I've seen it... I've seen it..."

He studies her expression, not quite believing her words. In the end, he moves his eyes to the window and says nothing. A little more silence.

Marinette focuses on the absence of sound, trying to understand it. Listening to the sound of his breathing, it almost feels like nothing has changed. He sounds the same. Her heart has always been breathing together with him, even before he was born. Their lungs always fill at the same time with the powder and ash of the universe. Everything gets stuck on their marks.

Maybe, if life wasn't so cruel, they could have –

"Ladybug?"

Her head shoots up, her thoughts disappear. Adrien has not called her by her superhero name since they gave up their Miraculous over thirty years ago.

It is funny how a damaged brain works. The most precious memories might be out of reach, but then there are times when it almost seems like there is still hope left. Maybe there is. Why the mind sometimes functions when most of the time it doesn't is just another mystery of the disease.

"Can you stay with me just a little bit longer?"

Right away, she tightens her hold on his hand. Because at the end of the day, after everything, Adrien Agreste-Dupain-Cheng is still _hers_ and Marinette Dupain-Cheng is still _his_. Maybe the universe really does know best, after all.

* * *

Thank you for reading! Writing this was pretty fun, I hope you enjoyed reading it and that it wasn't too messy^^ Comments are greatly appreciated! I'll love you forever3

((In case you were wondering: yes, for the sake of the story, Ladybug and Adrien did not talk to each other in Jackady. Just a little mistake I made and noticed a bit too late and didn't want to change the whole story. So yeah...))

I apologize for any typos, I'll try to find them later. But if you find any grammar mistakes then please let me know because those are harder for me to spot!


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